When God Anwers...

Have you ever prayed for something and it seemed like the Heavens were shut tight?  But, you kept praying and one day the phone rang.  When the call ended, the answer was HERE!

What?  Tomorrow?  How will we get ready?

You do.  You fix two rooms.  You rearrange your schedule, your relatives, your life because God answered your prayer for children and they are on their way.

Our family added Chas and Timothy.  When my daughter and son-in-law adopted these two children, life took on an added dimension.  He puts us in families and these two were chosen to be raised in our circle of love. 

If you are praying for something, allow God to give you peace and direction.  When He does things, He does them well!

Psalms 68:6

Sustenance...

They say we are what we eat. 

Most of the time I choose healthy foods and do my best to avoid salt and sugar.

BUT, there are times I just need a pick-me-up from Buckees or McDonalds or Panera Bread.  I know that one of the highlights of my mother's week was our visit to Arbys.  She loved their sandwiches and if I wanted to make her happy, we scheduled a stop at their closest location.

Do you know something simple and easily accessible that your loved one enjoys?  If you do, take a few minutes and invest the time and energy to make sure it happens.

What about you?  What makes you happy?  There are so many inexpensive things that provide just a few minutes of joy and make us feel loved.  It really is the simple things that make a big difference.

This Memorial Day, reflect on what makes your life worthwhile.  (Actually LaborDay...)

Sustenance not only comes from the foods we eat, but the music we listen to, the friends we encounter and the peace only God can place in our hearts.  Read the 23rd Psalm and give thanks for the opportunity you have to become healthy in every aspect of your life...and that of the one you are caring for.

He says the funniest things!

Siblings...

Some times you love them.  Some times not so much!

It is imperative that brothers and sisters communicate well when caregiving.  Usually, there is one of the family who takes over the majority of the care duties.  That person has the main schedule and the biggest adjustment to the new lifestyle.  It is very important that everyone finds what they can do to make the situation the best it can be.

There are always little things that can be shared.  If you are not the main caregiver, share the duties of taxi driver.  Take turns going to the doctor.  Go to the store.  Sit with the loved one a while so that the host is able to go buy a hamburger, or see a movie, or go to a church function.

We need to remember that love is a healer.  Laughter can ease a tense moment.  Hug each other at least once a week.  Make a phone call.  Talk about issues, don't allow them to destroy your family.

Phone Home...The Long distance caregiver.

Are you an out of town caregiver?  Do you share responsibilities from afar?  Are you involved in the day to day challenges of a loved one who lives in another city, another state?

Please phone home.  Even if you are not in a position to help up close, your interest and love will bring happiness to the care receiver and peace to the caregiver.  You are needed in any way you can contribute.  Just being able to talk over a difficult problem with someone who loves that person as much as you do is essential to the health and wellbeing of both of them.

"But, it only frustrates me", you say.  "What can I do?  I have a life here that I am responsible for."

You can care.  I have been at many funerals where the deepest grief is felt by those who did little.  Regret is a heavy cross.  Do what you can when you can and you will never have a sleepless night due to regret.

Yes and No...

Is that not the answer you wanted?

Sometimes we ask questions and the answer is exactly what we wanted and expected.  Then, there are other times that life sends a different solution and our brows knit together and our expression isn't pleasant.  We are in a quandary to make sure things turn out the way they should.

If there is a struggle in your life and you are just not happy with the way things are, step back.  Take an assessment of the situation.  Ask for help.  Look for that person in your life who has your back and loves you. 

If you do not have a support system, please let us know.  We will work to help you find that answer to your situation.

God bless  Read Psalms 136...God's love is faithful and forever!

Jst Can't Get it Right?

 Well... I wanted to use this picture but couldn't get it to turn right side up.  It started me thinking about life as a caregiver and the times I "just couldn't get it right!"  I struggled and pushed and stressed and nothing seemed to change or get any better.  I found myself exhausted and retreating into myself.  I went through the motions and survived, but failed to thrive in my situation.

There is a way.  Philippians 4:13

I found that when I included Him in my challenges, there was a way.  I was able to find the answer I needed for that moment.  He gave me the strength to persevere to an answer.


Have a good day!

 

 

The Grands...I am grateful.

I remember the day Johnathan was born.  I remember the day Kamri was born.  Life changed dramatically for our family when these two individuals became a part of the mix.  We were putting two families together, and when Johnathan came along, we had a focus that was like no other.

 

Kailee came into our lives much later.  She has proven to be a force of nature and marches to her own drum. . She is talented and I can only guess what God has planned for her future! 

 

 Chas and Timothy.   What joy they have brought into our lives.  They are each a unique and special gift to me.  Chas has grown into a beautiful young woman.  Timothy is strong and has chosen wrestling as his sport.

Why tell you about my Grand kids?  When life was difficult and I could not see any hope, I would look at them and realize that God places us in families.  With each child came a challenge and a hope.  Watching them grow and becoming a part of  their life plan has evened out the good and the difficult. They are the future.  They are my promise.

Psalm 68:6     I am grateful for the family God has placed me in. 

Respite...

The most difficult problem in caregiving for me was being so tired.

 It is imperative that you find what you need to get rest.  I didn't realize that even 5 minutes would make a big difference in my outlook and performance.

When they rest, you rest.  When they relax, you relax. 

Take a mental break.  Close your eyes and go to a happy place.  I always go to Murdoch's in Galveston and sit on their breezeway.  The waves, a prayer, something cool to drink... 

I know every situation is different.  I also know that God gives peace. 

If you are struggling, ask your Pastor, best friend, family member to help you find the way to respite for your situation!

Are you where you want to be?

 

I love Galveston.  I love the sound of the water.  I love the warm sun.  I love the gulls and, especially, the pelicans as they glide over head.  My favorite times of the day are sunrise and just as the sun begins to set.  I am where I want to be when there.

 

Also, there is Murdochs.  Their breezeway is always cool and most enjoyable!

 

I haven't always been where I wanted.  I was involved in a process that was difficult and engulfing.  But, the entire time, I was with people I wanted to be with.  I was part of their healing and important to their welfare. 

 

Life isn't always easy and comfortable.  Life often brings struggle and challenge.  But, being with someone you love is better than being in a location.  When I stand on the beach and look into the Gulf, I have mixed feelings.  I wish they could be here. 

 

Both of the ones I cared for were Believers in Jesus Christ.  Because of the promises of Scripture, I am sure they are where they want to be, also!

 

Obstacles

The view was beautiful.  The Gulf, the sand, and me.  However, I wasn't in a good place to take a good picture.  I could crop it.  The view would still be beautiful, but not as broad.  I wouldn't be able to see the entire beach.

What could I have done?

I could have asked Michael to stop the jeep.
I could have rolled down the window and stuck my camera outside.
I could have gotten closer to the window and not gotten the dark line down the middle.

Life is like that at times.  We look back and try to figure out how we could have gotten through or around it just a little easier or a little better.  We spend a lot of energy fretting over one scene when we have a couple of hundred photos that were taken correctly. 

I have found that my faith in God has eliminated obstacles.  I don't know how He brought me through certain periods of my caregiving experience, but He did.  I know it was Him, because when I was trying to do it by myself, nothing changed.  Hebrews 13:5-6

 

See!  Got it.

When Life is Good!

 

There are days when life is really good!  The sun is shining and the wind blows cool against the skin.  Everything is relaxed and free...

 

Has it been a while since you have experienced that feeling? If it has, take a minute and reflect on a memory that makes you smile!  Relive the freedom you had as that particular day unfolded.  Remember the joke or the occasion or the dialogue that brought such joy to your heart.

 

Laughter does good like a medicine... or something like that!

 

Deaf ears?

Do you ever feel like you are talking to deaf ears? It doesn't matter how loud or long the conversation, nothing happens.  The situation stays the same and it is impossible to see any headway or hope.

At times, that was what I felt like as a caregiver.  I was talking and no one was listening.  My fear and struggle was lost on those closest to me.  It wasn't always their fault.  I wasn't clear in what I needed.  That was probably because I didn't have a clue just what would help.

But, God has always been faithful to me.  In Gal. 6:2 the Bible says to carry each others burdens and in that way you will fulfill the law of Christ.  Love is His law.  I have family and friends who did just that.  They began to decipher my language and together we walked a path of pain and sorrow.  They were there in the roughest part and stayed with me.

Look around.  Do you see someone who is reaching out to you in your pain?  Where ever you are, reach back.  There is someone who is in tune with Gal. 6:2 and will help you by loving you.

PROPER EQUIPMENT

Having the proper tools in a battle is essential.  Whatever your war might be, the equipment that you need to have available should be the best you can find. 

In caregiving, we too often begin the journey without much information.  As we learn the particulars about our loved ones issues, we begin to gather what is needed.  If we are familiar with the computer we can get necessary help in a timely manner.  There are websites that will lead to other websites with even more and better info.  The doctor can be a link to finding what is necessary to make transitions easier and healthier.

What is the issue? 
Is there are foundation that does research on this particular thing?
Is there anyone in my immediate support group that has had the same experiences and thus knows what is available and where?
Have I took time to get a handle on my emotions and am seeing things through clear and healthy eyes?

God has a plan for your life.   Remember that the battle is HIS and He will lead you to just what you need!  I Samuel 17:47.

STRONG ENOUGH TO MEET THE CHALLENGE!

 

Evaluate.

Assess.

What is your strength and what is your weakness?

Can you meet the challenge of caregiving?

If you are struggling, do you have a support group?

Are other family members involved?

 

It is important to know just where you stand and what you are able to embrace.  If you do not, you will fail yourself and that loved one you are in charge of. 

 

You are not alone.  Every caregiver has had to ask these questions.  If you do not know the answers, get them.  It is imperative that you stay healthy and whole.  You must do so now for them and for yourself. 

 

 

Why the crab cakes?

 

I don't want you to thank I am being crabby.  

 

 I wanted to show you the ones I ate at the Hotel Galvez a few years ago.  Wonderful food.  A bit pricey, but wonderful!  I think the red line was something to make it look like there was more on the plate.

 

Facing Forward...

Are you facing forward but locked into the past?

 I made many decisions based on my past experiences.  Some of those experiences were like a dam that stopped the flow of my growth and caused me to function on what was, not what was in the present or possible for the future.

It has taken many years to come to the place in my life to move forward without the chains that locked me in a place that I could not see the future.  God is so faithful.  As long as I asked Him to participate in my life, He has done so.  My false perceptions have been gently dealt with as He provided the Holy Spirit's guidance.  His love has chipped away at the stone state of my fear and allowed the joy and possibility for the future.

Caregiving was an experience that I was unprepared for and depleted me of many things.  However, in that state of vulnerability, the voice of the Holy Spirit was loud and clear.  Like a child, He has held me close, removed my hands covering the eyes of my heart and provided hope.

Where ever you are, there is hope.  You might tell me that I don't know your situation.  You might say I have no idea what I am talking about regarding your life.  BUT, I know Who does. 



 

CAN YOU PICK JUST ONE?

Who do you choose?  Can you pick only one to share your money or your resources?  Can you give three away and hang on to only one?

I think it is interesting to note that God had a choice.  He chose the many over His Son.  But, He knew that on the other side of that choice, all would be saved.  John 3:16

As a caregiver, sometimes the choices are impossible to make.  There doesn't seem to be a solution and doing one thing destroys all the others.  I pray today that you find that peace.  Just as God provided Jesus Christ for us, He does have a way out of the dilemma.  Take a step of faith and ask Him how to proceed.   He will give you a way.

When my husband was ill, the financial burden was tremendous.  But, God provided.  The money was there when things came due.  The insurance took up what I could not provide.  How?  I don't know.  I just know that HE did what I could not do.  My faith is much broader than it used to be and my peace much sweeter.

The Action Plan...Got one?

 

I have had a very patriotic week.  I found the total 10 years of JAG on UTUBE.  I have been on a Carrier, in the air in a TOMCAT and in the Court Room!!  Every one of those episodes had a common denominator:  AN ACTION PLAN!

It reminded me that An Action Plan is one of the tools for caregivers.  If you have one, and carry it out, life becomes much more bearable, peaceful and successful in the caregiving experience.

An Action plan includes several things:
1. WHAT you are going to do.
2.  HOW much you are going to do.
3.  WHEN you are going to do it.
4.  HOW OFTEN you are going to do it.

EXAMPLE:  This week I will read a favorite book (what) for a half hour (how much) in the mid-afternoon when my careperson sleeps (when), three times - Monday, Wednesday and Friday (how often). (from The Caregiver Helpbook).

Then, I had to decide just how successful I thought I would be - from 1 to 10.

There were some weeks I reached the goal, there were others that I failed.  BUT, I continued to try and found success came more often than failure.  I was able to step upward and my healing was steady.

If you are struggling, make a plan..  In Jeremiah 29:11 God says He has a plan for us.  Tap into it and fulfill His goals.  You will not be disappointed!

Caregiving: by choice or default?

Parents are caregivers to their children.  Most of the time, it is anticipated and or planned.  It is looked forward to with great joy and much pleasure.

Caregiving later in life isn't always a choice.  Life happens.  Loved ones get sick or age.  A person is often caring for their little ones as they find themselves caring for their parents.  Life chooses for us and we are hit head-on with challenges we have never faced before.

Assess your situation.  Did you have a choice in becoming a caregiver at this time?  Do you have others who are involved with you?  Are you overwhelmed?

If you are struggling with issues or loneliness because of the limitations caregiving has placed on you, write to us.  Share your concerns.  There is someone who will work with you and give you the support you need as you walk the path you are traveling today.

jtreatwalker@yahoo.com. 

Peace and still water...

 

 

Peace and still water...

Bambi looking into the patio window.

 

It is important to stop and look at the things that surround us.  When we are young, we fight to grow up.  When we are in the center of our twenties and thirties we are fighting to provide for our families.  When we are older, we have time to lie down and enjoy the things around us.

 

If you are in the center of a life changing situation, take a deep breath and look out the window.  You might see deer resting on the lawn or a fawn waiting for the evening corn.  You could possibly run into a friend who has time to listen and share in your challenge.  Perhaps they have an answer that will give you what you need.

 

I have rested in the peace and comfort that Jesus gave us through the Bible.  It isn't just a book of nice sayings.  It is a book that gives us Life.  Because we believe in the resurrection, we believe in His promise to deliver us, also. 

 

Sleep in peace tonight.

Just how tough are you?

I used to think I was tough and could handle just about any situation.  Then, one day, life hit pretty hard and I wasn't prepared for the place I found myself.  I became a caregiver without much knowledge of what I would face.  The challenges were overwhelming and I was faced with decisions that were bigger than my experience.

There has been one constant in my life that I could always count on to give me direction.  I became a Christian when I was 8 years old.  My Pastor's daughter asked me if I wanted to accept Christ and I said yes.  I didn't have a clue when I accepted Him, but my mother did and led me to a place of understanding.  The Bible became the book that I turned to and quoted when life was rough.  I found a personal experience with Christ who loved me in spite of the struggle of life.  Through the years I made good and bad decisions, but the knowledge that I was loved (John 3:16) and the peace He promised (Psalm 23) gave me direction and security.

He will never leave nor forsake His children.  He says so over and over again in the Scripture.  As I listen to the news, I know that something is in the works.  I have looked for His return since I was a little girl.  I find myself looking up at the sky.  I notice the clouds and wonder if He will step out from behind one to relieve this world of the evil that is trying so hard to destroy?

Being tough isn't the solution, knowing Jesus Christ is.  He is tough enough for both of us!

Need help?
Set a goal for yourself this week.  It can be 5 minutes to listen to a song.  You can walk three times around the block or the table for exercise.  Take a bubble bath!  Do something for yourself.

"Seek snd ye shall find..."

 

This past week I have been enjoying the deer who come to my friend Mary's home each morning and evening.  This was the scene each day about 7 AM.  The deer know where their corn is located and Paul and Mary provide for their welfare.  So, it isn't unusual for them to peek in the windows while they wait for their breakfast.

 

As you know, deer are hunted creatures.  But, for this small herd on Lake Houston, they are safe and welcome.  There are about 10 female who come with their babies to eat, rest and play.  However, there is one who is the bully of the group.  If she didn't want anyone else to eat, she just ran them off.  They would spread across the yard and then return to eat until she chased someone else.

 

God has such love for us that He allows us to find places of refuge and respite.  We can rest and relax in a safe place.  If you haven't tried Him, please do.  Seek and you will find that place where He will heal and provide for You - "For God so loved the world..."  John 3:16

Images

 
 
Some pictures I love.  Just wanted to share today.

 
Sometimes pictures are worth a thousand words.

What are you hiding behind?

 

One of the fun things about doing the blog is being able to use my pictures!

 

I have often wondered if I am fooling anyone when I am going through a difficult place.  Do I put on a disguise?  Do they realize the struggle or are they being polite and giving me my space?  It is difficult to help someone when they are afraid of the help or don't see the need for the help or just figure they can do it all themselves.

 

The wonderful thing about being a Christian is the participation of the Holy Spirit in our lives.  He gives us wisdom and discernment for ourselves and those we love.  He clarifies to our minds just where we are and what is needed to proceed to a bright and successful future.

 

My faith in Christ says He won't leave me nor will He forsake me.  That means He is there when I am a willing participant in our relationship.  It also means He is close by when I put on a pair of rose colored glasses or a big bow.  His love knows me.  He sees me. 

 

Do you know the beauty of that?  He knows you, also.  He sees where you are.  It is not easy letting someone into the situation.  But, it is necessary.  There are those who willingly will stand beside us to make the difficult places more bearable. 

 

When someone reaches out to your need, grab that hand and hold on!  (Read Psalm 23 today.)

 

JOY and PEACE.

 

I don't know what was so funny, but this picture always makes me happy.   There is a light in their eyes that puts a smile on my face and the pride I feel in my two granddaughters fills my heart.  In the center of every struggle, God has a way of dropping moments of love and peace into our situations.  How sad it is when we look around and see people who do not have a support group.  Or, people step back and away from those who love them. 

 

  When life becomes difficult, it is easy to question every thing that we have stood for.  Our belief system is challenged  by the pain we are experiencing.  There is a difference in who we were and what we have become.  So, adjusting to the new takes time and remembering what worked in our lives takes effort.  Pushing oneself to reconnect after loss is a major challenge.  Looking for something that makes us happy takes determination.

 

If you are struggling to find peace and need something beautiful in your life, and you do not have any children to hug on, try reading or watching music videos on Utube.  I was introduced to the music of Terry MacAlmon lately and found his music videos.  His piano instrumentals draw me to worship and I reconnect with Jesus Christ as I remember why I became a Christian. 

 

Today I am at peace.  Today I am able to allow His love to touch my life through those individuals who have chosen to love me and not allow me to stay in a place of isolation. 

 

If  you know someone who is isolating themselves, stay close and when the opportunity comes to love them, do so.

 

A TIGHT PLACE...

There are times when I have felt like I was in a very tight place! I was stuck and unable to get loose or get my footing.  Unbalanced, I struggled to move forward and become free from my perceptions, my realities and my future.

As a Christian, the Bible says "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." Philippians 4:13. I have a promise that I can find the answer to the hold that is causing me frustration and pain.  Christ will unlock the vice and set me free.  I have to learn to trust Him.

If you have never tried God's promises, do it today.  If you ask, He will answer.  Don't be surprised when it happens.  Take the initiative and ask specifically!  I believe He is who He said He is and will do what needs to be done in my life.

He cares for each season we find ourselves in and will not leave us helpless or caught.