Tuesday, September 30, 2014

When you dream, dream big.


I remember when my grandson would stand in front of the television and watch the NASA Channel.  It was a telescope.  It showed earth from space and he would stand for ever watching the world turn.  It was his dream to be part of that world.  The look of love would cover his face when he had on his space gear.

Dreams do not always come true, but they open a door that leads us into our life purpose.  If we never explore those ideas, we miss opportunities that God wants us to pursue. 

Caregivers do not usually have time to dream, let alone do anything creative.  One foot in front of the other consumes their day.  So, I am appealing to those who are the support group of a particular caregiver.  Look for opportunities to engage that special person in your ideas.  Encourage them to participate in a conversation that will lead them to answers to their particular purpose.  It will enlarge your life and theirs.

Genesis 4:9
Yes, I am my caregiver's keeper,,.,

Monday, September 29, 2014

Serendipity...


Life brings treasures wrapped in unusual circumstances.
God orchestrates people into our lives.

Out of difficult events we often find those who love us the most.  They are the treasures we cling to and cannot let go.

Infidelity is taken for granted in our society.  It is almost expected that love will fade or something/someone better will come along.  With this mindset, trust is hard to give and we often withhold the emotions that bring joy and happiness.

For the past few days I have been going back to family and friendships that have been lifelong.  Step back and allow God to paint a portrait filled with those who make up your treasure chest and love you.  Then, tell them how you feel about them.  Tell them all, even those who have difficulty returning the dialogue.

John 3:16


Sunday, September 28, 2014

Photobombed...


It is always exciting when cousins drop into the picture!  We enjoy sitting around the dinner table after a hard day at work and discuss our day.  This particular day, Kamri went to work and Timothy enjoyed the Texans Game with Angela.  I was able to catch K and T during said discussion.

This isn't about caregivers per se, but about family and fun times.  It is about knowing there is a group of people who enjoy our stories whether a rough day at work or a fun time at a football game.
It is about love and peace and togetherness. 

Have a meal, set around the table, recall funny stories, share with each other!

Have a time of remembrance and take pictures.  You may just get photobombed!



Thursday, September 25, 2014

Stay Focused!



I love taking pictures. Some are right on - in others I move the camera.

It is important to stay focused when doing anything. It is especially necessary when care giving.  Your situation is unique.  But, care giving has a lot of similar aspects.  If you are working on someone else's issues, you are not taking care of your own and unable to have things in proper perspective.

Take a few minutes and look at your challenge in a new light.  Find what you need to have a complete and successful life today.  Know your loved ones problem and any answers that are new.  Google it, research it, ask the doctor...whatever it takes to educate yourself on the problems and the cure.

Do I sound like a broken record?  Well...it is my goal to make sure you have a life that is thriving and successful.  That can happen when you have the information you need and the help you need!




Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Things aren't always what you think!


My mother loved stemmed glasses.  She would drink orange juice from them each morning.  Kamri likes them with apple juice.

To look at this picture one would not think it was apple juice - but we know.

Sometimes the picture doesn't represent the actual.  We put forth an image that will lead to one conclusion when the real one is hidden and often painful.  The only way to be sure the truth is represented is to be honest in the presentation.

Our world puts forth images of fun and freedom, then when the drugs, sex or mayhem turns around and bites, the world retreats in blame and "I told you so".  One minute the game is played with us, the next it is laughing and cruel.  (Just watch TMZ, etc.)

Yes, I am on my soap box!

For those who are fed up with believing the surface picture and not delving into the actual, try asking God for His peace.  John 3:16 states that He gave us His Son so we could connect with our Creator.  Today, connect!  Whatever you do, represent truthfully who you are and what you need!


Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Are you in the picture or only in the Shadows...


Shadows...

This is a favorite view and when I saw the picture, I noticed the shadow of myself as I took the picture.  The older I get, the more I realize it takes effort and determination to be IN the picture instead of in the shadows only.  I don't like some of the progression of life, so it is easy to avoid becoming involved.  Avoidance is the easy way out.

I work on this every day.  My challenge is to step out of my comfort zone and actually be involved in someone else's life.  The challenge with my children is to find the right balance between caring concern and interference.  Ever found yourself looking into the eyes of your child as you try to fix their situation and they are looking back at you with a look that says, "stop"?

Step out of the shadows at some point this week.  Seek out someone who needs your particular touch or talent in their life.  God isn't finished with us until we are sitting beside Him in Heaven.

Proverbs 3:5-6  

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Fatigue sometimes leads to hibernation...

 
For me, the elephant in the room is fatigue.  My caregiving experience ended some time ago, yet the emotional impact of that time period has carried into the present.  It doesn't matter how much I loved those I cared for, it doesn't matter how much time has passed, the ghost of those feelings rise up and I find myself back in the moment.
 
What is my initial reaction? 
Hibernation.
 
The easy thing to do is retreat into my room and avoid interaction.  AVOID people.
 
The solution is to fight that reaction. 
 
I wish I had recognized what being really tired and emotionally wrung out would bring to the future.  I think that is why I try to find ways to help those who are caregivers now.  
 
Recognize early when you are becoming depleted physically, emotionally and spiritually.  Ask early on that your support group notice when it is showing in your personality.  Seek help from those who love you and are close.  It is possible that they have no idea that you need help.  We become really good actresses and actors while trying to do everything ourselves.
 
I point you to Jeremiah 29:11 every chance I get.  God's plan for us is to prosper.  We can only do our job well when we are healthy.
 
 
 

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Reflecting Love...

 
If we are secure in our relationships, the reflection will show on the face.  Love cannot be hidden when it is unconditional and lavished on the one chosen.
 
In a world filled with trouble and war, it is refreshing to be part of a group who is not afraid to express their emotions to those who mean so much, and make a difference in life.  Too many times support is withheld due to misunderstandings or fear of rejection. 
 
Give freely. 
 
 Love deeply. 
 
 Live openly.
 
As a caregiver, there will be days so filled with fatigue that you will hesitate to enjoy anything.  Putting one foot in front of the other is all that is possible. 
 
Today, I encourage you to sit down and reflect on the very good memories you have accumulated over the years.
 
Jeremiah 31:3
Long ago the Lord said to Israel:  "I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love..." 

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

OVERWHELMED?



I found myself overwhelmed by a situation I was not really involved in, could do nothing about, but had empathy with the family involved.  I struggled with my emotions and desire to "fix" things. 

I could not.  It wasn't my place but I had made it my problem.

I have found that it is easy in a caregiving situation to borrow trouble.  It is easy to be so close to a situation that thinking, and seeing clearly, does not happen.  Stepping back, taking stock, identifying the issue and what I can contribute is essential to my health and a proper solution to the problem.  It also keeps me in bounds and not pushing my answer on those involved.

My Faith has given me clarity and direction when I am overwhelmed.  Seeking God's answer takes the pressure off of  me to work it out and allows me to be supportive and loving as the proper solution is reached.

Psalm 61:2  From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed...

Monday, September 15, 2014

Changes...The Flagship Hotel

 
 
The Flagship Hotel on Galveston Island was a favorite place to spend a few days.  It was like being on a boat over the water, yet attached to land.  The picture of the Seawall was taken before Ike from a room at the top of the hotel.  I loved sitting on the balcony and watching the tourists come and go from Murdoch's.  This is my favorite place to watch the water and enjoy a breeze that comes across the Gulf.
 
The second picture is the change that came after Ike destroyed the hotel and the property purchased to build a pleasure pier.  The new addition is a success and people flock to the pier to eat at Bubba Gumps and ride the rides.
 
Me?  I go to Murdoch's, sit in a chair on the porch and remember the hotel.
 
Life holds many good memories and some pretty challenging ones.  At times I sit on my couch and remember those days when my Mother held me on her lap.  Then, I remember the days I would hold her as she aged and was no longer able to care for herself.  
 
I also remember my husband and the years our girls were growing up.  I then recall the days he was ill and we courageously took on his disease with faith and determination.
 
I have felt God's presence as I walked through the before and the after.   Psalms 23...
 
 
 


Sunday, September 14, 2014

Beauty from Chaos




 
 
Hurricane Ike devastated a great part of Galveston Island and Crystal Beach.  The water came in, stayed a while, then retreated.  There were many damaged trees.  Artists came onto the island and created beauty from these destroyed trees.  Above is a picture of one of the tree trunks and what the artist made out of it.
 
Caregiving has been a similar experience for me.  It came like a Hurricane that moved slowly over my life and left a tremendous hole when it was finished.  I am still finding areas that need refining and healing.  But, from that experience developed a compassion for caregivers and the ones they love so much.  I have empathy when I come across an individual who has found they are doing the best they can to provide what their loved one needs. 
 
 Jeremiah 29:11 in the Old Testament is a Scripture that tells God's intent for us.  He has a plan.  I find that if I will persevere, that plan becomes obvious and I can move forward in peace and confidence.
 
Today, Google Galveston Island and the pictures of the trees made into art by some talented individuals.
 

Thursday, September 11, 2014

First Day ,,,New Day

 
This is the first day of the rest of your life.
Good day or bad?
We do not choose what happens in the hours, but we do choose how we respond to those events.
 
Kamri is a senior this year and is beginning a new phase of her life.  I remember my senior year and the choices I made for college and career.  I planned to go to school in Springfield, MO.  But my mother felt a nudge from God that I should attend a small Bible College in Houston, TX.  That decision set the  path of my adult years.  I began a journey that birthed my friends and faith.  It was the most influential time of my youth.
 
As you revisit your senior moments, allow them to be put in perspective and enjoy the good.  Throw out the memories that cause grief and pain.  God puts us in families so that we can grow and thrive. 
Bring up some of those wonderful friendships, events and experiences that made you who you are today!
 
 

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Old Before your TIme?

Are you feeling old before your time?  Do you look in the mirror and see a stranger?  Has life evaporated as you knew it and you haven't been able to take hold of the present?

It has always been interesting to me how surprised I am when I see friends from my younger years.  They have changed.  So have I.  The energy of my youth has given way to slower steps and someone who vaguely looks like the me thirty years ago.

During my caregiving experience, I found it difficult to maintain a lifestyle that would ward off the changes of time.  I was busy.  I was working full-time, caring for my family and caregiving.  I found out later that there are many ways to keep up a healthy lifestyle. 

If you are struggling with your health, take 10 minutes whenever you can and relax.

How?  What makes you happy?  Are you a reader?  Do you like to talk to a friend?  Do you like yoga?  How about music?  A walk around the yard?

I want to encourage you to do what makes you happy and gives you a lift.  I have always found Scripture refreshing and uplifting.  For me, the Psalms provide words of encouragement.  The Sermon on the Mount in Matthew brings  enlightenment and hope to me. 

Whatever works for you, take a short break.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Living the easy life...

 
Don't you wish you could go back to being young with no responsibilities?
(If you were living that way when young...)
 
Every movie that has a motorcycle gives the impression of riding free while the wind blows soft and full against the face of the riders.  It seemed to represent the freedom and fun of a lifestyle that was without responsibility as long as there was gas in the tank and a highway to follow.
 
Was your fun time cut short?  Did you find yourself bound by the responsibility of a loved one who needed you to sell the bike and buy an SUV?  Did you find yourself standing at the window wondering where the time went to relax and play?
 
Chances are you are like everyone else and as you grew up, life happened.  Maybe it happened to the person who drove the bike or the one who sat behind. 
 
Take a few minutes and pull out your picture album.  Sit down beside that person who means so much to you and take a ride down memory lane.  Love on each other for a minute or 30 and enjoy the freedom you experience as you visit those places of long ago...
 

Monday, September 8, 2014

I can't believe he ate the whole thing....




There are embarrassing moments in life! If you have a sibling, chances are, they will be involved to some degree!  Older brothers will take any opportunity they can to make sure you are not too comfortable!  And, younger siblings tend to return the challenge when they get the chance...

For some reason, this week I have been reminiscing about my childhood.  As I have grown older, and my immediate family is gone, I value my children and grandchildren.  It is interesting to watch their interactions and how their life challenges are met. I have fond memories of holidays and summers with my mom and dad.  My brothers were unique individuals and each of us was extremely different.

Stop for a moment today and take a long look at your family.  Take a look at where they are, who they are and the special attributes they have.  After looking at their gifts, say a prayer for them and give them words of encouragement, love and friendship.  Yes, friendship.  It is invaluable!

Proverbs 18:24 There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother...  Our Creator is closer than any family member.  He is our first family who has placed us in earthly families.  If your family is no longer available, choose Him.  He is close and will never embarrass you!




Sunday, September 7, 2014

Siblings!


I was between two boys.  My older brother was four years older and the other was two years younger.  The older acted like I was not there and the younger, I tried to bully.  It is funny remembering my relationships with them.  When we grew up, we lived many miles apart and were not able to become acquainted with each other as adults.   The memories that are most clear are those of our youth and the challenges we faced growing up.

Both of my brothers died before they reached the age of 50.  When my mother needed care, I was the only one left to care for her.  I remember how difficult it was to make decisions for her on my own.  It would have been so much easier if I had one or both of them to help.

If you are fortunate enough to have siblings, don't allow anything to come between you.  Cherish each other and make the most of every opportunity to share your lives.  If you have a parent who will need your care, then strive to be on the same page and cooperate in the journey.

We need each other!  Even when someone is irritating us and we are caught in the grip of  that brother...we need each other!

Saturday, September 6, 2014

The Eyes Have It...


Look closely at the "eyes" in this picture. 

There are many things that take our focus away from the important things.  They will pull us away from the immediate activity and cause us to redirect our gaze to TV or computer or movement to the right...or left...

Are you struggling with staying in tune with the immediate issues?  Are you unable to read and retain information?  Are you so exhausted that you are running on fumes with no way to refuel?  It happens.  I found that fatigue was the bottom line and rendered me unable to focus.

How do you find help?  Go to your loved ones doctor.  Google caregiver on the internet.  Check with your church.  Call a friend.  The school district often has contact information.  There are neighborhood organizations.  If you do not have the resources, get a family member or friend to help in the search.

Today, I pray that you will find what you need to rebuild your strength.  I pray that God will send you friends and associates who can meet your needs.  I pray that your loved one will have a really good day. 

In Jeremiah 29:11 (which I quote often) God tells us that He has a plan.  Seek it and you will find strength for your life.

Friday, September 5, 2014

It Takes Practice....



 
I know the picture is dark, but I wanted to use it to demonstrate the idea that we CAN do what seems impossible.  We CAN achieve goals if we put our minds to it.  We CAN see the light at the end of the tunnel when the tunnel is long and very black.

I want to encourage you today to take a deep breath and try again.  Look at the options and move forward.  Find a friend to stand along side you as you tackle the splits or cancer or insurance or...

In Philippians 4:13 it says that "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."  I have found that friend in Christ and He has always taken me through the rough places.

(I can't do the splits, but I have mastered some difficult times and survived!)

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Assessment of the situation

 
Contemplation...Assessment...
 
Where are we?
What are the issues that need attention?
Am I in the loop?  Is everyone else in the same loop?
Am I in denial regarding a certain issue?
What are my choices?
 
Have you been there?  Are you afraid to take stock because once you have, the bottom will fall out of your resolve and you will collapse?  Are you afraid of what you will find out?
 
Fear of the unknown will keep you awake.  Resolve to find the answers to your challenge once you have defined it.  There are websites that you can access through Google.  If you have a computer, look them up.  One word is all you need to direct you to answers.
 
"When you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed."  God's Decree  Jeremiah 29:13 The Message
 
Find Him...Find your answers.
 
The Wailing Wall Site - Jerusalem

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Some days I am just not myself...

Some days I found myself putting on an act.  I would prepare a face, costume, and routine that threw off friends and family.  Or so I thought.

In reality, those who love us can usually tell when we are in a difficult place.  Friends who know us will be able to detect that false front and help us in the struggle of the moment.  Instead of going to all the trouble of trying to disguise your pain, share it with a Pastor, friend, family member who will show empathy and love.

God loves us and even if no one else can tell, He can.  His love will wrap us in peace and guide us to the answer we need.  I love the 23rd Psalm because David spoke of the valleys we find ourselves walking through.  He spoke of God's provision for us.  He wrote of the place of safety beside still waters.  That is in direct contrast to the overwhelming floods we often experience.

Today I pray that you will be able to lie down in peace and sleep.  I pray that you will find exactly what you need to make this day good for yourself and the loved one you are caring for!

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Contemplation....


Some days I find myself contemplating the future.  At this time, mine is pretty simple and uncomplicated. It hasn't always been that way.  My caregiving days were anything but!  I was caught in schedules, unanswered questions, new challenges... they filled every day. 

Sitting beside the Gulf of Mexico is one of  the pleasures of my life.   Kamri was taking advantage of the beach at Corpus Christi a few years ago and her expression caught what I wanted to convey today.

If you are in the center of a difficult life experience, I encourage you to find a few minutes and sit down, take stock and contemplate. You will be surprised at how 5 minutes of concentrated thought will help you see more clearly the direction you need to pursue. 

Psalms 78:7 in the New Living Translation states: "So each generation should set its hope anew on God, not forgetting his glorious miracles and obeying his commands." 

Revisit your hope.  Ask God for His presence in your struggle today and then look for Him as He guides your steps and makes the rough places smooth.





Monday, September 1, 2014

The Importance of Having a Cheerleader...

 
Everyone needs a cheerleader!
 
Everyone needs someone to stand on the sidelines and urge them forward.
There are so many people who feel like they are in their situation and all alone.  They do not have anyone they feel who understands and cares about the issues.
 
Many of us realize that our parents are the ones who cheered, urged, cajoled, threatened and loved us into becoming an adult.  It was my mother who obeyed God's voice and changed my college experience.  I was set to go to school in Springfield, MO.  God urged my mother to take me to Houston, TX to a small denominational college.  Being there set the tone and direction of my life.
 
I knew I was in the adult world when my mother came to live with me.  She was aging and could no longer live alone.  My cheerleader now needed one. 
 
So did I.
 
We needed all the friends and support we could get for the changes that had come to us.  Because of the years as a caregiver, I learned how important it is to stop and take a minute to check out the caregivers and see how they are doing. 
 
Being a cheerleader is not difficult, nor time consuming.  A minute, a hug, a word of encouragement will change the atmosphere of someone who has a burden and needs support.
 
Psalm 68:19