Peace and Sleep...

There is a Scripture in the Bible that I use when I am afraid, troubled, restless.  I pull out Psalms 4:8:  "I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep:  for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety."

Life is filled with challenges.  High blood pressure is often the result of a troubled spirit and lack of rest.  Without peace in the soul, it is difficult to get a clear picture of what needs to be done regarding upcoming decisions, especially in caregiving.

When you can't rest, try this prescription.  Go to the WORD.  There is always an answer.  Sometimes we just need help in finding it.

SMILE

 

This picture was taken a few days ago.  She has a very winning smile and there are times that only the smile of a loved one will lift the spirits and soothe the heart.  Caregiving often leaves the caregiver wondering who they are and what has happened to the person that once inhabited their body.  The face in the mirror is almost unrecognizable. 

 

If you are exhausted and struggling, seek someone who can pray with you and will help you find the answers for your situation.  There are many helps today that were not available a few years ago.  There is a government site on aging. Google caregivers and see all the sites that pop up.  Type in the illness you are dealing with and there will be several sites to choose from with information and guidelines for help.

 

When life is a struggle, look for someone who can lift your spirits with their smile.  Smile in return!

 

 

I've Got Your Back...

Do you know who has your back?  Is there someone you can count on to be available in a crisis? Or, someone who is a constant help?

It is important, in caregiving, to know who is on your team.  It is necessary to HAVE a team!  There has to be people around us who know what the schedule is, the procedures are and be able to step in to help when needed. 

If you haven't found those who are in the know regarding your situation, determine to put a plan in place.  You cannot afford to fly solo.  The statistics prove that the caregiver often succumbs to illness due to the fact that they have not taken care of themselves.  So, reach out for help and develop a plan.

If you cannot do this, leave me a message on the comments and we will work with you to find a way to meet the needs in your family!

God bless you.  He has a plan.  We will find it together.

IN A TIGHT SPOT?

 

Sometimes we feel like we just can't escape!  We are bound by a situation that has trapped us and we are off balance.

 

Ever been there?

 

Caregiving can give you that sensation and make you feel like there is no way out.  Life gets complicated and sticky.  The grip gets tighter.

 

What can we do to help ourselves?  Sometimes just relaxing and taking inventory helps.  At times, recognizing our captor is the key.  (If it is your older brother, then you have to cry "uncle" until he lets go.)  But, getting a clear picture and seeing the options will make a difference.  Asking for help from someone often makes it better.  (And, if "uncle" doesn't work, scream for Mom).

 

Today, I am praying that God will give you the key to your situation and help you relax.  Take care of yourself.  You are important and it is YOU who will provide your loved one with the environment they need to thrive.

 

 

It's Just Not the Same....

 

It's Just Not the Same... 

 

Life changes.  We look in the mirror one day and wonder who that person is?  There are a few features that look familiar, but overall, the image is almost unrecognizable. 

 

The key to a successful future is the ability to look at things as they are, not as they were.  Recognizing new limitations, accepting them, and working out how to adjust to them is critical in living a fulfilled and happy life as a senior.

 

So many seniors never find their purpose once they are deprived of their vehicle, their home, their life as they have known it.  It doesn't matter how successful a person has been in the past if they cannot find purpose for the now. 

 

I watched my mother give up and die once she realized she could no longer go home or function as she once did.  Her stroke left her with issues that she could never accept and was not able to overcome.  It was devastating to her and to the family.

 

If you have a loved one who is finding change difficult, do your best to help them recognize their limitations and learn to use them.  If Jeremiah was correct (29:11), God has a plan and it doesn't stop when we have a stroke or turn 80 or lose some of our mobility.  Help them find that purpose while they are able to think it through.  There will possibly be a time when dementia or Alzheimer's takes their mental ability.  Until then, help them feel valuable!

 

Galveston Before Ike:







The Unkown

 

The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier is one of the most recognized monuments in the United States.  If you ever get a chance to read the requirements for these men who keep vigil over this site, you will be surprised and impressed.  Their life is committed for a period of time and they are required to keep the rules.  Why do they?  Because, they want to.

 

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-vetscor/1126293/posts

 

Caregiving can be an unknown.  It begins with an idea of what is going to happen and goes to a completely different place.  We learn new languages, new vocabulary, new rules.  We find ourselves immersed in a foreign land.  I often found myself gasping for air.

 

The good thing is, there is help.  Google the challenges you face and you will probably get several choices of help.  A few years ago, there was little help and most caregivers flew blind.

 

I pray for your journey and that you find the help you need quickly!  God bless!

 

 

My Soldier - Johnathan.

 

 



 

 

Respite or Boredom?

 

Respite or Boredom?

 

For the Caregiver it is considered respite.  There is a need to escape and enjoy the things that make you relax and be able to think clearly. The sound of the surf eases the turmoil inside and the wind chases the fuzzy thoughts away. 

 

For the one being cared for, it is often boredom.  There is too much time.  There is too much time to remember the things that once were. There are years of inactivity, watching old people get older and realizing that you are one of them, ahead.

 

I prayed a prayer yesterday.  I prayed that God would give me a key to what would be fulfilling to a friend of mine.  I was able to walk outside, get in my car, drive away.  Her life has taken a drastic turn and she is now confined to a room in a nursing facility.  Unless she gets her strength back, she won't be able to decide for herself what is respite and what is boring. 

 

Because we lose strength and slow down physically, doesn't mean our mind and memories do.  So, today I pray God gives you (the caregiver) insight into what would fulfill your care receiver and bring you both respite!



So many can no longer fly alone - they need our help.

IMPOSSIBLE?

 

 

 

I found this picture taken a few years ago.  We were on the beach in Galveston and Kamri was doing what she does best.  She was doing her back flip across the sand and Misty actually captured the picture.  For me, that would never happen.  I couldn't do it in a million years, but she ran and flipped!

 

 

Some things I know I could never do.  But, when I became a caregiver I found there were things I thought impossible that I actually accomplished.  I didn't do it by myself, but had the help and support of loving family and friends.  I started slow, but with practice and time, I became pretty efficient and knowledgeable about what needed to happen to make the impossible possible!

 

 

 

There is a Scipture that states with Christ all things are possible.  I may not be able to do a back flip, but I can find what I need to make my loved one comfortable and secure. Matt. 19:26

 

Practice, practice, practice.

Perception.....

 Perception.....

I took the first picture while moving quite fast.  As you can see, it is out of focus.  The second picture is clear and shows the shark shop.

Many times in our lives things are out of focus. We perceive things in certain ways and act according to what we perceive, not what is.  How did any of us grow up without scars and struggles?  We didn't. No one is immune to the challenges that life brings.  They don't end at 18.  Generally, that is just the beginning.

I know some people who were raised in good homes, yet they made bad choices for their lives.  I have known people who came from complete chaos, and yet, somehow they found what they needed to become successful and happy adults.

When I was 8 years old, I was told about God's love and the sacrifice that Jesus Christ made for me.  I accepted that invitation.  When I was 13 I was baptized by the Holy Spirit.  I can only tell you that any good choices I have made came out of those two experiences.  I have made many bad ones along the way.  I have found that my success and health was due to the acknowledgement of God's love through Christ and the direction, comfort and companionship of the Holy Spirit.

When I entered the caregiving arena, I was totally unprepared.  But, because I had a foundation of a lifetime of going to the Bible for strength and guidance, I made it and gained a new respect for those who give selflessly to the needs of others.

If you are 2 up to 90+, remember that there is an ear who will listen and a God who understands.  Jeremiah 29:11, read it.

Confused?

 

 

Are you confused?  Are you dealing with new challenges in finding answers to the financial, in-home care, social security regulations, facility feasibility, and on and on and on?

 

When I began the caregiving experience, my mother didn't require much care from me.  But as time went on, she became more and more dependent on my help.  Sadly, I wasn't aware of just how much she needed my attention until she had forgotten her medications too many times.  She suffered a stroke and I had to find a facility for her to recover in. 

 

She never left the nursing home.  She was there 6 months and passed away.  It was the longest six months of my life.  I was totally unprepared for this journey.  A few months following her death, I became my husband's caregiver.

 

Don't become a statistic.  If you are becoming a caregiver, ask questions before the crisis.  It never hurts to know what your options are.  Have a family meeting and discuss future needs.  It isn't borrowing trouble, but trouble shooting so that the loved one is included in their care and the options they have for their future!

 

ASK!!



Friends come in all shapes and sizes!!

Relieving Stress..

My personal means of relieving stress is sitting beside the Gulf.  Kamri is looking out to sea during a trip to Corpus Christi a few years ago. 

Below is a list of some tips for lowering the stress in your caregiver situation:
1.  Accept the reality of your caregiving situation.
2.  Educate yourself about the care receiver's disease.
3.  Identify unrealistic expectations, especially your own.
4.  Seek and accept support.
5.  Identify what you still have, rather than focus on what is lost.
6.  Let go of what cannot be changed.

Life is different when a loved one becomes a care receiver.  The reality is difficult to accept when the child becomes the parent.  If you can grab on to the reality that IS, you can find what you need to bring peace into your new situation.

I like sitting beside the Gulf at dusk and watch the sun go down, listen to the ocean sing to me and experience the comfort that God brings to my soul.  Find your spot today.

Elfie Marie Briggs

 

 

When I was under the age of ten, Elfie Marie Briggs came to live with us for a time.  This picture was taken in her youth.  She was my Mother's Mother and I was named after her.  I don't remember much about her except that during the time she stayed with us, following a stroke, we had a little record player.  The song of choice was "Chicken Chatter".  It sounded just like that.  It was highly annoying and in her medical condition, I'm sure it was really irritating.

 

I haven't thought about that time in years, but my mom was caring for her mother.  Since I have been a caregiver, it must have been highly stressful for my mother to juggle the three of us, my Grandmother and her job.

 

Now I have sympathy.  At the time I was too busy listening to the chickens chatter on my record.

 

 

Take a few minutes today and let your spirit soar upward in a prayer of thanksgiving for the good things in your life.  Think about them and write them down.

 

 

Buffalo River State Park

 

 

 

My Dad's family reunion is held every two years at the Buffalo River State Park.  Each time is unique and special.  With the passing of time there are fewer and fewer of the original Troy and Clara Treat family represented.  But, there is an abundance of grandchildren, great grandchildren and relatives who meet to reflect on our ancestry. 

This year I have thought about my dad every day.  I have gone over pictures and listened to some of the tapes with his music on them.  I have visited my childhood, young adulthood and the events in between.  When he passed away, Jerry drove his casket to Marshall from Urbana.  He spent the night in Springfield at my mom's home.  I wonder what the neighbors would have thought if they had known.

Caregiving is a 24/7 occupation.  Don't wait until it is over to enjoy the bond that you share.  Live in the moment and take care of yourself.  Be there for each other and find the way to make that happen.

May God bless you today and give you the peace and joy you need.

Uncles....

I have been focusing on the Treat's this week due to father's day.  I placed the Aunts on the blog and today I would like to place the Uncles there.  Charles, Marion, Russell, Jim (dad), Victor, Jackie and Joe.  These are some of the funniest people I have ever known.  They could fuss, but you didn't talk about them.  You could watch for hours as they entertained you and each other. 

It was fun growing up and visiting Granny and Grandpa Treat.  Granny was having children along with her kids.  Jackie and I are close to the same age.  I have several cousins that were also within a few years of each other and it was always crowded when we got together.  I remember one Saturday evening that everyone was out except me and Grandpa.  We sat by the big stove in the living room.  I don't remember ever having another one on one with him.  There wasn't enough of him to spend time with each one individually!

My dad wrote me a long letter once.  I opened it, it said hello and then there were about 15 pages of jokes he had copied from a joke book.  His greatest aim in life was to make people laugh and this year I have been remembering some of the things that he did.  His brothers were his music buddies and so many of the children carried on the tradition.

Well, I am grateful for my memories.  Have you revisited any of yours? 

Remembering Jim Treat....

The above picture is of Jim, LaRue, and Jimmie Roger Treat.  I wasn't born yet.   You can tell it was sometime in the 1940s by the car and clothes.

One of the things I remember about my dad was his love of humor.  He would try any and every way to make you laugh.  Once he found the key, there was no turning back.  If he was in the room, he was entertaining the other occupant (yes, even if there was only one other person).

He loved to embarrass his kids. (Probably, his nieces and nephews, also.)  He would get my younger brother, Jerry, in a crowd and ask him if he was scared.  Jerry would chuckle, then Dad would tell him to stay close to him and he would protect him.  (Jerry was 6'4" and Dad about 5'11").

His favorite joke was (that I remember) two men sitting on a riverbank.  Man One turned to Man Two and said:  "That alligator just bit my leg off!"  Man Two said:  "It Did!  Which one?"  Then Man One looked at him and said , "I don't know, when you've seen one alligator, you've seen them all."

I'm not sure why it was funny, but when he told it, we were all in stitches. 

My father was a musician and it was the one thing that defined him.  We spent a lot of my childhood surrounded by family and friends who played a multitude of instruments.  They would gather and play for hours and hours.  When I close my eyes, I am transported back to that living room and the music that was produced by Jimmie, Charles, Victor, Marion, Russell and later their kids.

(Thanks for letting me ramble about my family today.  I hope that my kids have some really good memories of their childhood, not merely rough patches that we encountered. )

If your dad is still with you - spend an hour hugging him and laughing with him around some memories!

  

The Aunts....

Memories of my Dad and Mom flooded my mind when I saw this picture.  Aunt Talmadge, Opal, Velma, (Mom) LaRue, and Blanche are all prominent women in my childhood.  Every time we went to Arkansas, we would shuffle kids and houses and food. 

They had a garden between Aunt Winoka's (dad's sister) and Granny Treat's houses.  When they cooked, there was always chicken, pork chops, fresh tomatoes, green beans, peas, cornbread, biscuits
and just about any vegetable you can name.  The desserts were plentiful, too!

Love abounds in a crowd and the Treat family is a crowd.  My parents came from two strong groups and remembering their contributions to my life fills my heart with gratitude.

These women contributed to my life in childhood and in adulthood.  God places us in families and I am truly grateful for mine.  I have one aunt from Mom's side - Jessie, alive.  I have one Aunt Geneva and two Uncles:  Jack and Joe, from Dad's.  I love remembering special times we shared.

The Peaceful Pelican raises his head when I remember!

There is love and there is love...

 

 This is Snicker.  She is half Pug and half Chihuahua.  As you can tell, Kamri loves her!  Snicker is a hoot.  She is a fuss budget, tattletale and clingy.  If she can get on your lap, she will.  She lives with two Labs and a mutt.  (Those are her canine companions, not the human ones).

We don't always choose our situation or our surroundings.  We can't always control who comes and who goes.  We don't know when a crisis will happen, but having loved ones around will go a long way in making things better. 

I was thinking about the friendships that God has brought into my life the past few years.  Many of them have been friends for a lifetime.  Some, are relatively new.  But each one has played a part in my healing and my being able to find a way through the challenges of caregiving and post caregiving.  (There is a post caregiving journey.)

Today I encourage you to seek out a friend.  Tell them how much they mean to you and how much their friendship has helped you in your journey!

Also, include God in your gratitude.  He is a friend who sticks closer than a brother...

                                                     Galveston.......

Civil War?

 

The Civil War was a difficult and devastating event in the history of the United States.  Abraham Lincoln fought that war from the White House.  His men fought on the battlefields across the eastern coast.  Misty, Johnathan and Kamri went to Washington DC several years ago and stood at his monument.

Sometimes caregiving seems like a civil war.  Families don't know how to unite and share the load of the one who is ill.  One finds himself, or herself, doing the majority and becoming used up in the process.

How can I get my family members to help?
Is someone trying to help and I am not allowing them to?
What is the best plan for my loved one?

Identify the problem.  Seek someone you trust to help you see clearly some steps to be taken.

Don't fight a war that will choose you as the victim.  There is help.  If you don't see any way, please contact me and I will do my best to lead you to a solution.  jtreatwalker@yahoo.com 

God bless - John 1:5 "The light shone in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it."

Long ago and far away....

In a few days, I will be leaving for Marshall, AR and the Treat Family reunion.  This picture was taken many years ago.  I am the one on my mother's lap.  My older brother, Jim, is beside me.

Each reunion is missing a few more.  My dad came from a family of eleven kids.  When we went to see my grandparents, there were always several cousins sharing the beds and getting along was a necessity.  Their little house seemed large, but when I return, I realize just how small it was and how fitting everyone in was a major accomplishment.

Life is like that front bedroom with three regular beds touching each other and a path between.  Life is full of making things fit and finding ways to successfully achieve an impossible task.  It was not always comfortable, but when I remember those days, I am filled with memories of love and fried chicken, fresh tomatoes and cornbread. 

You can find a way.  Deuteronomy 1:33 says, "...who went ahead of you on your journey, in fire by night and in a cloud by day, to search out places for you to camp and to show you the way you should go." The Israelites didn't always listen, but if you will, He will give you the answer!


Love this picture.  He is diving for dinner and looks successful!

Confused?

I love this photograph.  When I thought about using it, I saw God and Satan striving for my life and knew that if I chose incorrectly, I would be caught, tried, and sentenced.  The girls are grinning, but life situations are not so funny!

Maybe you are in the center of life challenging choices and aren't sure where to turn or who to turn to.  I never went wrong when I prayed, sought good counsel and was educated on my options.  You can find what you need with God's help.  He has always brought what I need and who I need when I needed them,

Caregivers.com is a wonderful website.  It has links for caregiver information that will lead you to any problem and help you solve it.

 

Galveston wood art from tree destroyed in IKE.

Growing.

When my grandson was born, we sat around and watched his every move.  He was the first one and with his birth, life changed.  Every birthday, every year, things changed in his life.  He is now 19 and in the Army National Guard. 

I was reminded, this morning, that fruit grows.  You don't plant a tree and have fruit in one or two weeks.  Trees take time to produce.  They take time to develop and mature.  So do we.

I believe it took me much longer to heal following my caregiving experience because I wasn't educated in what would transpire.  By the time I was in the center of taking care of my loved ones, it was full speed ahead.

Fortunately, I had some loving people in my life that carried much of the load with me.  Now, I know some things to alert you about.  You must take care of yourself.  You must allow others to help.  You need all the balance you can get!

Smile...it helps.

There is nothing like icing straight from the bowl!  Licking the brownie covered spoon is heaven.  Cookie dough made with a new fresh bag of chocolate chips makes my mouth happy.

It is difficult to remember what makes us happy and laugh when in the middle of  caregiving and the potential crisis that comes with it.  It is easy to draw into oneself and live life by rote when everything has potential for pain and sorrow.  It is also easy to withdraw from family and friends.

Buy a roll of cookie dough next time you are at the store.  Call a friend.  Share that dough with someone who listens, laughs with you, knows you.  Embrace them.  Include them in your schedule and let them know what you need.  Let them hug you and share the future, whatever it might be.

Friends!!

This picture was taken several years ago at a Fall Halloween Festival party.  I captured Linda Rose and Patty Bailey's granddaughters in deep conversation.  These two families have been a part of Crossroads Fellowship in Houston for many years and the heritage they have provided for their children and grandchildren is a firm foundation.

I value the friendships that have been a part of my life since childhood.  I know that when tough decisions come, there will be a friend who will be there to guide and support me. 

Keep them close.  Keep an open dialog with those who lift you up and give you comfort and truth,  It isn't just hearing what you want, but we also need  the truth to keep us balanced.

Contact someone today!!

Mother's Day

Mother's Day celebration, 2014, was held in Galveston.  Kamri was waiting in the Jeep.   We had the top and the doors off and lots of wind on I45 South.

The waves were rolling in from the Gulf.  This sailboat was bobbing off the seawall, close to the Pier.
Below, is the view of the Pier from Murdoch's.  We were resting in the chairs, enjoying the breeze coming from the water.

 

 

Why am I reminiscing?  Because, today I feel content and peaceful.  This place is a source of enjoyment and healing for me.  Find your place and allow God to fill your mind and soul with the elements that make your life complete.                                                                                             



In TIme...

Yesterday I put pictures of my niece, nephew and daughter, Angela, on the blog when the kids were first introduced to our family.  Today, I want to put a picture of where they are now.  Love both of the pictures!

Caregiving can be a challenge.  Too often we abandon difficult projects because they become hard.  We can't snap our fingers and see results.  Instant gratification is the theme of this age, but it takes a lifetime to develop beautiful things and to get the sweetest fruit and vegetables.  We have to plant, water and wait.

Where ever you are in the caregiving experience, don't give up.  You will turn around one day and things will be at the place you want.  You will see the progress of your loved one and know the joy that comes with perseverance and tenacity.

 

This is a mother with children......5 to 20!  Or a caregiver who has a lot of doctor appointments!

Love in Bloom....

 

 

Several years ago, God brought two additions to our family.  This was taken shortly after Chasity and Timothy became a part of the Reynolds family. 

They no longer look exactly like this, but have grown into teenagers.  The joy in their faces makes me wonder what was happening at that moment!

I enjoy going through the picture albums and videos.  They take me back to events that were enjoyable and loving.  It is so important to remember the precious times with those we love.  These memories can help balance the difficult times in caregiving.

Today, pick an event that was special and fulfilling.  Close your eyes.  Go back to that place and fill your heart with those moments of love and closeness!

                                                                                                   Laugh often!!