The Belly of the Whale - Grief

The Belly of the Whale – Grief

I was reading the Book of Jonah this morning and the second chapter stood out like a NEON sign.

“I WAS THERE!  That is what I felt like.  During my care giving experience and following, I related to Jonah’s words:

“From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help…you listened to my cry.  You hurled me into the depths, into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me…the engulfing waters threatened me; seaweed was wrapped around my head.  When my life was ebbing away, I remembered You.”

I think it was the seaweed that stood out first.  Following my care giving time, I was deep in the belly of the whale.  I was “deep in the realm of the dead”.  I felt like I had been “hurled into the depths, into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me.  The engulfing waters threatened me, the deep surrounded me. “

several years I floated.  I went to work.  I went to church.  I surfed tv channels and the internet.  I could not land and stay put.  I was tossed to and fro by the pressures that I had experienced.  People didn’t realize the extent of my bruises because I was very good at rising to the occasion.  I had always been able to find an answer and have a ready plan at a moment’s notice.

However, grief brought a new facet to my personality that I ignored.  Maybe not ignored as much as I didn’t recognize the feelings or thoughts I was experiencing.  I had never traveled that path before.  It was new and I was alone.

Then my reading moved to chapter 4.  Jonah had gone east of Nineveh and sat down.  He built a shelter.  He sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city.  He was functioning – not very well, but he was following God’s directions.

God provided a leafy plant.  He made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort.  Jonah was very happy.

BUT – it was time to move forward and not continue to stay placed in the grips of grief.

SO – God provided a worm.  It chewed the plant which withered.  God also provided a scorching east wind and sun which blazed on Jonah’s head.  He grew faint.  He wanted to die. 

I related this to the time God chose to move me out of the deep into His plan for my future.  I liked the couch.  I didn’t want to be responsible to anyone’s pain or comfort.   I hurt.  I struggled with remembering.  I was numb.

But, God had a plan to deliver Nineveh and He had a plan for Jonah.  Jonah’s time in the belly of the whale and watching Nineveh be delivered was a minute on the timeline of Jonah’s life.  There was much behind, but so much more going forward.  And so for me, too.