The Belly of the Whale - Grief

The Belly of the Whale – Grief

I was reading the Book of Jonah this morning and the second chapter stood out like a NEON sign.

“I WAS THERE!  That is what I felt like.  During my care giving experience and following, I related to Jonah’s words:

“From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help…you listened to my cry.  You hurled me into the depths, into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me…the engulfing waters threatened me; seaweed was wrapped around my head.  When my life was ebbing away, I remembered You.”

I think it was the seaweed that stood out first.  Following my care giving time, I was deep in the belly of the whale.  I was “deep in the realm of the dead”.  I felt like I had been “hurled into the depths, into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me.  The engulfing waters threatened me, the deep surrounded me. “

several years I floated.  I went to work.  I went to church.  I surfed tv channels and the internet.  I could not land and stay put.  I was tossed to and fro by the pressures that I had experienced.  People didn’t realize the extent of my bruises because I was very good at rising to the occasion.  I had always been able to find an answer and have a ready plan at a moment’s notice.

However, grief brought a new facet to my personality that I ignored.  Maybe not ignored as much as I didn’t recognize the feelings or thoughts I was experiencing.  I had never traveled that path before.  It was new and I was alone.

Then my reading moved to chapter 4.  Jonah had gone east of Nineveh and sat down.  He built a shelter.  He sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city.  He was functioning – not very well, but he was following God’s directions.

God provided a leafy plant.  He made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort.  Jonah was very happy.

BUT – it was time to move forward and not continue to stay placed in the grips of grief.

SO – God provided a worm.  It chewed the plant which withered.  God also provided a scorching east wind and sun which blazed on Jonah’s head.  He grew faint.  He wanted to die. 

I related this to the time God chose to move me out of the deep into His plan for my future.  I liked the couch.  I didn’t want to be responsible to anyone’s pain or comfort.   I hurt.  I struggled with remembering.  I was numb.

But, God had a plan to deliver Nineveh and He had a plan for Jonah.  Jonah’s time in the belly of the whale and watching Nineveh be delivered was a minute on the timeline of Jonah’s life.  There was much behind, but so much more going forward.  And so for me, too.

Happy Father's Day, Jimmie....and brothers

I found this picture of my father and three of his brothers:  Marion, Victor and Charles.  They were all entertainers,  If my dad was in a room with one other person, he would be telling jokes or dancing or playing a fiddle or guitar.

One of my memories centers around Friday and Saturday nights.  Dad's friends and brothers would come over for a jam session.  Mom, Jerry and I were usually relegated to the bedroom until break time.  At the musical break, we would have donuts or something comparable.  Then, for the next couple of hours it would be back to the bedroom to listen to a list of  music from folk to country to gospel to anything they knew.  It was serious  business that brought them together.  They loved to play.  Occasionally, my Mom (who was a really good singer) would join in with a song of her choice.

I didn't appreciate the talent my parents were gifted with until years later.  I was always a wannabe singer.  I could harmonize, but playing an instrument was not one of my gifts.  What I did receive was a great appreciation for those evenings filled with blue grass and love ballads.

This Father's day, I remember my heritage.  I thank God for those events He allowed in my life that made me the person I have become.  I miss those four men.

Happy Father's day, Jim Treat.  I love you.

Maximum HAPPY!

This picture makes me happy!

I saw it and immediately began to imagine what was so thrilling the tiny girl and her camel friend.

Was there a sand storm that rose across the desert and whipped the tents into a frenzy?
Was another camel prancing in front of them?
Could they be witnessing an oasis with palm trees and a pool of cool water?

Whatever the view, it made them extremely happy!

There are people in my life that have this affect on me.  When I am with them, I laugh.  They bring out the funny in me.  It doesn't matter how many years or weeks or days we have been separated, we pick up where we left off and relive previous times while creating new adventures.  Our eyes meet and the communication is instant and filled with fun,

If it has been some time since you have experienced this joy, contact one of those friends immediately!

Have a blessed day!!

Courage

Courage...

This past week I have been reminded of what courage looks like.  Being a caregiver 24/7, watching a loved one as they deal with debilitating health issues, learning to walk through grief...each situation requires courage.

It would be nice if there was a time frame to help guide through the physical challenges, not to mention the emotional aspect.  But, life doesn't give us those options, it sneaks up on us and we often find ourselves figuring it out as we go.  My Faith in God's plan was the anchor I grasped with both hands.  I had been taught that Jesus Christ loved me and that my Heavenly Father had a plan.  Jeremiah 29:11 played over and over in my mind and spirit.  

My personal belief in Jesus Christ and the fact that He loved me gave me the courage to get up and place one foot in front of the other through the most difficult times.  In crisis, the choices we have to make are ours alone.  There are those times no one else can choose - it is our decision alone and must be made like a pelican on a pole with the octopus reaching.

I have three friends who have exhibited this courage to me.  One has MS, another has cancer, and another has a sister with Alzheimers. They daily face their challenges with dignity and Faith.  Life isn't easy.

 Without Jesus Christ, it would be impossible.  Because of my relationship with Him, I have been given the tools to be courageous whatever circumstances I face.

Safe....

Safe.

For years I drove the Houston freeways to go to work.  In my twenties I drove from Houston to Illinois and didn't think anything about it.  I once drove from Miami, Fl. area to St. Louis, Mo. in a Volkswagon without a spare tire, and two kids.

That was when I was young.

Later, my job required me to drive 610 and I 59 from Deer Park to JFK Blvd by the Airport.  I opted to pay the $4 a day to go the beltway because there were people I knew along the way,  I lived by myself and the kids were several minutes away, so I knew if something happened, I would have a place to go.

I did't feel SAFE.

A few years ago, I retired.  I think the most overwhelming feeling of safety comes when it is storming at 6 am and I do NOT have to drive anywhere!  I know that whatever happens, I am not on the road in a vehicle that is subject to wind, rain, obstacles thrown from trucks, and everyday wear and tear.  I am safe.

Jesus Christ has made me feel safe for a long time.  I haven't always taken the opportunity to run to that safety place, (as in driving), but His presence has always been on 610 or Beltway8.  In fact, when I think about it, He has traveled many miles with me.

Psalm 4:8  In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.