Friendship...

FRIENDSHIPS...

 

I have been away from my computer for the past few days and was not able to blog.  I had the most wonderful experiences during this time.  Friendship has been the key to healing many of the hurts that I have felt over the past few years. 

 

Monday I went to a very dear friend's home.  I think there were 8 ladies who came to encourage each other and share lunch.  Joyce (who's home we were in) had baked potatoes in the crock pot for us.  Gloria had made a Hummingbird cake and Glenda brought her German chocolate.  Which to eat, which to eat?  I had some of both!!  We pray for each other and share with each other.  Someone always has a Scripture that reminds us of how much God loves us and is aware of what we are facing. 

 

Then, I went to another dear friend's home who lives on Lake Houston.  We sat on her back porch watching the birds and the squirrels.  The lake was calm Monday night, but choppy Tues.  We sat on her dock watching the sun go down Tues. evening.  There were mud ducks, cat fish and lots of conversation.  Her family was in and out and for two days, I mini vacationed!

 

When I review my life, I am always amazed and grateful at the people God has placed at just the right time and just the right place.  Sometimes, they are there throughout the challenge.  At times, they show up at a crucial point.  But, the God who loves us provides those ears that listen, those hands that heal, and those words that give hope!

 

God bless....

 

Judi



FEELING CONDEMNATION? GUILT?

 

Condemnation and guilt are two emotions I wrestled with following my caregiving experience.  I second guessed almost every choice I made and felt like everyone was looking at me, asking "why did she do that?" 

The more I tried to do what I thought Mom and David would choose, the more confused and conflicted I became.

I decided that there was nothing I could do about any of it now, so I would have to move on and find peace.  As I prayed,  and began to fill my mind with positive things, I felt less and less stress.  God began to heal my heart and remind me of the things I did that were correct.  It has taken some time to know that we cannot make perfect choices every time.

Whether you are a caregiver or not, you have probably felt these emotions.  God will make a way for you to move forward and not remain under the nose of those you think are condemning you!

HELP......

    




 

H E L P....



Ever felt like this Pelican looks?  There have been days that I wanted to throw my head back and beg for help!  I would have, but I was too exhausted and afraid that if I let go emotionally, just a little bit, I would find myself sobbing on the floor, unable to continue.  So, I took a deep breath, got a grip. and held on.

 

Being a caregiver is often a roller coaster ride.  Emotionally, I was up one minute and down the next.  With each diagnosis came a new challenge and new information that needed to be processed and implemented.  The more critical the time, the less I was able to focus and found I was walking in a fog. 

 

I remember one particular afternoon that I was facing some major financial challenges.  My husband had been in and out of the hospital and it was a critical time for him.  There was NO WAY we were going to be able to make our commitments and keep our house.  (God had given us a miracle with both of our jobs and our employers never docked our pay or took away vacation time.)  They saw us through every critical step, but as we gathered hospital bills and daily expenses, it looked like we would go under and I felt the pressure that day in particular.

 

When I looked back, I realized that nothing came due until there was money in the bank.  God was faithful to supply the need. He always has.  He always will.

I don't know where you stand on Faith.  I don't know what you believe or who you believe in, but I know that even in my most challenging days, my friendship with God has been the anchor.  Holding on to what He did for me in the past has been the hope, and the reality, of my future.  That friend is Christ.

 

Jeremiah 29:11

 

 

 

 

 

 

 




 

All Things...

From THE CAREGIVER MINISTRY of Dominion Church, League City,Texas

ALL THINGS...

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.  Romans 8:28

I don't know about you, but there are some "things" I have experienced that I didn't have a clue as to how they could work out for good!  But, in hind sight, the light would dawn and I would be able to see His footprint and hand print in the crisis.  

When my mother passed away, my guilt at not being able to "fix" her was at 100%.  I was despondent and filled with anxiety.  God pointed out to me that this trip was between Him and her.  They loved each other and He was her companion.  I was a bystander in their story.

Dear Father, help me trust.  I am determined to walk in the knowledge that "all things"  will work together, because I am called to Your purpose.

 

When Life Bites Unexpectedly...

 

Since my retirement, I have moved to the country.  Every so often a wasp visits my home and I watch him closely.  About 30 minutes ago I picked something up the wind had blown down and it had a visitor.  Well - the wasp got my hand.  IT HURT!  I tried baking soda and held a copper penny on my hand for about ten minutes. 

Life is like that at times.  We reach out to retrieve something and out of nowhere pain grabs and holds on until we find the thing that will neutralize the venom.  Caregivers can't always stop and Google a remedy.   One goes into survival mode and must make instant decisions.

Too often, after the crisis, we second guess the choice and beat ourselves up.  Don't.  Give yourself a
break.  I believe that God will guide your steps as you openly love and protect your loved one.  Do the best you can with the information you have and let HIM bring the outcome. 

Please visit Caregiver.com if you have questions or need links to groups that will help you.  Gary Barg has had a magazine for almost 20 years for caregivers and that group will guide you to helps you might need. 

My first source is God and His Word. Because He loves me, He has guided others who have had similar experiences and they have provided stepping stones for me to follow.  Remember Jeremiah 29:11 - God has a plan for you and your loved one.  He has the answer to your situation and sometimes we don't recognize His help until we are on the other side of the problem. Then, there He was, all the time!

Have a good Thursday.  Judi

The Caregiver Path

This morning I read on face book that a courageous lady had passed away from her battle with cancer.  She fought for five years.  By her side was a family of caregivers who took each step with her.   Their story isn't at an end.  Each of those who loved Sherry will now walk a path of healing.  It will be different for each one. 

As I have traveled my particular path, I have found out things about myself that I had no idea I possessed.  For one thing, I walked in a cloud.  I was a strong person, I thought.  But, this cloud was produced by the fatigue brought on by the pressures of the uncertain and unknown. We never knew when we would have to make a visit to the hospital, how long the emergency room visit would take, would we be admitted?, was it just a scare?  A lot of the time, I was simply putting one foot in front of the other and making it through the day.

After my Mother and Husband passed away, I realized how much pressure I had been under.  The thing about it is, it doesn't just go away because the initial cause is gone.  I had to begin this new path without them.  I had to begin to find me again.  I was no longer two people, because caregivers are themselves and the hands and feet, and the voice, of the loved one they have cared for.  Where to begin?

I needed to be with my kids.  So, I began attending the church that two of my daughters were members of.  I had known the Pastor for many years and the sign behind the pulpit was a soft place for me to land.  It read:  Dominion Church, a place of faith, hope and healing.  My faith was pretty battered, my hope was absent and I NEEDED healing.  I found the time and energy to do just that.  Pastor Thurstonson acted like I was still the same person he had known years before.  He never pushed me to become active, but allowed me to find a place I could heal quietly. 

God has a plan.  Read Jeremiah 29:11 and stand on it.  If you are in the process of caregiving, God will truly work miracles on your behalf.  If you are on the other side and need the comfort of His arms, the Holy Spirit will hold you tightly so the healing can begin.

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

                                           Mt Zion looking at the road Jesus traveled at the
                                           Triumphal Entry into Jerusalem.

Discouragement...Depression...

                                                    "WHAT'S THE POINT?"  

 

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

                                                                      Psalms 34:18

 

Depression, fear, hopelessness lead to the question "What's the point?"   

Why make the bed? 

Why get up from the couch?  

It is much easier to click the channels, avoid stressful situations and not focus on anything.  Hiding emotionally is the only comfortable position and stepping into the light is scary, and most of the time, it is impossible.

 The Psalmist found the point - "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." 

 He is the point. A brokenheart can be mended.  A crushed spirit can be saved.  There is a reason to fight the darkness and begin to live with the Savior who is close beside us.

 

Dear Father,

Help me "see" those who are avoiding life because they believe there is no hope. Teach me to practice what I preach when life becomes unbearable and I want to dive deep inside myself.

 

 

 

 

 

THE PEACEFUL PELICAN

There is something about the pelican inflight that lifts my spirits.  I can sit beside the water and listen for hours to the surf as the tide rolls in and out.  The tightness inside me loosens with each wave hitting the beach and then escaping back into the Gulf.  It is peace.  This scene of waves and wings has been healing to me.

As a caregiver, I was exhausted physically.  I was running on fumes and could never relax.  Finding time for my self was impossible and did not happen very often.  It was years afterward that I found the tools I needed to get my balance.

What is your story?  How have you managed to make the caregiving experience a thriving lifestyle?  Have you been able to find the key to your particular experience?

Let me know your thoughts.

Jeremiah 29:11
(Caregiver.com is a must!  Their newsletter will provide much help and information!)

Introduction

April 20, 1944

Hi...
Today is  Easter Sunday.  I have been sitting on the bench in front of my trailer, enjoying the breezy weather of the Texas coast.  Because I am a Christian, I have been thinking about the Resurrection and the effect that belief has had on my life.  I am a senior citizen and can truthfully say that God's love for me has been the defining factor of my life. 

I was a Caregiver to my Mother and Husband before they passed away.  The years I spent in that capacity changed my life forever.  I have decided to write a blog to encourage and learn from those who have followed the same path.  Without my belief in the Resurrected Christ, I would not have been able to find my way through the pressures.

So, in the days to come, I will be posting some observations, lessons and helps that have made my life much better.  It has also given me the ability to search out those who are caregiving and tell them that, whatever their situation, there is hope.

Sincerely....Judith Treat Walker
Jeremiah 29:11