UNEXPECTED HELP

 
 



Take the help where you can find it!!!




(I think the most fun, so far for me in blogging, is locating pictures of pelicans and attaching them to my thoughts!)

So many caregivers are locked in the belief that they are alone and there is no one who can help them.  Unfortunately, those who can help are not always aware of the need, or afraid to interfere, and in some cases, just ignoring the obvious. 

The caregiver must evaluate exactly what they can do.  Once it is understood, they can then begin to reach out for the aid that will give them a life of success instead of just existing.  This will benefit  themselves and those they are caring for.

DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK!!  Those who love you both want to help.  They just don't know how or what is needed. 

Do you need some errands run?  Ask.  You know specifics and there is someone who will be glad to go to the store, the cleaners.

Do you need a thirty minute break?  Ask.  Those who love you will take part in your respite need.

Do you need the relatives to step up?  Make a list.  Ask.  Start asking certain people to perform certain tasks.

Is this difficult?  YES.  If you can't do it, turn to someone who is close to you and ask their help in spreading the responsibilities so that you can remain healthy and able to care for that special person in your life.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE in this.  There is family, friends, your church group, your neighbors.  God will give you a plan to thrive.  I know He will, He did it for me.
 

Rise Again...

As I was drawing on my eyebrows this morning, I was listening to RISE AGAIN by Dallas Holms!  Easter was just a few weeks ago and because of this event, I have the hope of Heaven and being united with those loved ones who have already gone.

Do you remember this song?  Look it up on Utube and enjoy this promise...


RISE AGAIN

Go ahead, drive the nails in my hands
Laugh at me where you stand
Go ahead, and say it isn't me
The day will come, when you will see!

(CHORUS):
'Cause I'll rise again
Ain't no power on earth can tie me down
Yes, I'll rise again
Death can't keep me in the ground!

Go ahead, and mock my name
My love for you is still the same
Go ahead, and bury me
But very soon I will be free!

(CHORUS):
'Cause I'll rise again
Ain't no power on earth can tie me down
Yes, I'll rise again
Death can't keep me in the ground! 

Go ahead, and say I'm dead and gone
But you will see that you were wrong
Go ahead, try to hide the Son
But all will see that I'm the One!

(CHORUS II):
'Cause I'll Come again
Ain't no power on earth can keep me back
Yes, I'll come again
Come to take my people back

I'm so tired...

Have you been paralyzed by fatigue?  Are you the lone extension of your loved one and overwhelmed by the responsibility?  Are you too exhausted to even look for help?

I found a program entitled "Powerful Tools for Caregivers" (caregiver@ths.com.  It is a free 6 week course that focuses on YOU taking care of yourself.  The difficulty was finding the time to attend the 3 hour meeting even once a week. 

One of the things that ministered to me was the Action Plan provided by them to encourage me to take time for myself.  It didn't have to be more than 5 minutes.  The plan would give me some time just for me, to help me focus and be able to be the caregiver I needed to be.

Here is an idea of the plan:
What am I going to do?
How much am I going to do?
When am I going to do it? - time of day, etc.
How often am I going to do it?

I had to write it down and then give an idea of the confidence I had that I would actually accomplish my action plan.

At the time I was involved in the class, I was working and was able to do the plan  five days a week.  I said that I would walk in the warehouse for 20 minutes each day during my lunch hour.  You would be surprised at how I enjoyed that exercise, as limited as it was.  It was what I did for me. 

I chose reading for one week.  Some people chose bubble baths.  Some listened to music.  The goal is to relax and reconnect with something that is truly enjoyable just to you.

Take a few minutes and try it.  As you accomplish something, stretch yourself  with longer tine periods.  Allow healing to give you and your loved one a breathe of fresh air!!

Safe Landing

When I am flying, I don't seem to notice the actual flight too much.  I debate on what to drink, where do I sit so that I can have access to the aisle when I need to vacate my seat, and will I be able to catch a nap?  I may be happy, or not so happy, depending on who is sitting beside me, behind me, and in front of me!

I went to Israel and the flight was very long.  The jet lag was awful, but the prize was all of the wonderful places I saw and the people I met.   It was so interesting to see how well Israel and the Arabs had worked out their living situation.  They had a system that met the needs of the people and allowed so many of us to visit those places that mean so much to our faith.

It isn't the flying that is the issue for me.  It is the landing.  We take off really well.  I chomp my gum to keep my ears from popping.  The issues come when the landing gears go down and I wait with great expectation to feel the wheels bump the ground and then settle into a roll to the gate.

I think dying must be a little like that.  The anticipation mounts, then it is done and we leave this body.  A special lady had a safe landing today.  She has fought cancer for several years and today she landed safely in Heaven.

You may not believe Heaven exists.  We do. 

Her family has had a rough goodbye, but they have the promise of seeing her again.  We envision her wrapped in the arms of her family and friends who have entered that place of peace and rest and a future.  She was a wife and mother here.  We can only guess what God has for her there.  I believe He will give her time to adjust to her new surroundings and then open up the vision of her place in eternity.  She will probably jump right into her new job, but I bet she has one eye on the gate of Heaven, just waiting for those she loves to enter.

When I read the Bible, I get a picture of what is in store for us.   Laura knows, because she has seen it.  I can only imagine.

Peace

 



Murdochs in Galveston.  It is located on the Sea wall across from the Galvez Hotel and down the street from the new pier.  You can see the ferris wheel to the left.  When life is hard, I can always sit in one of the chairs, put my head back and chill.  There is always a breeze and the sound of the water hitting the shore beneath the porch is soothing.

I found that in the time of my most difficult decisions, I could go there and find the balance I needed to make the right choices. 

Find your place and allow God to fill you with whatever you need to become whole. 

OPINION OVERLOAD!!

SO MANY OPINIONS!!  Today, everyone has an opinion and has a way of voicing it!

Who do you listen to when you are in the middle of a crisis? Do you know where to go when you need education on your mother's Medicare options or your dad's insurance policy?  How do you find out the best facility for your family member's present needs?

How do you find peace and confidence that you are making the decisions you need for them when you are exhausted and your brain begins to gel with opinion overload?

There are many choices when you Google caregiver help.  Or, elderly programs.  When I was looking for a way to make sure I was in the right place, I found Caregiver.com.  They have links to just about any question you might have.  You can also contact different long term care facilities that will give you numbers to aging agencies and the help they provide.

Take one voice at a time and check them out.  See what they offer and where they lead.

I fought my way through discouragement, depression and chaos with the help of family and friends.  I learned to step back and, as I prayed, God brought what I needed when I needed it.

When the voices get too loud - turn down the volume!!

LOVE WHO?

Galatians 5:13-15

The Message (MSG)

^13-15 It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don’t use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that’s how freedom grows. For everything we know about God’s Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out—in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then?

I was reading these verses this morning and the part about loving others as you love yourself whipped off the page and grabbed my brain.  As I have gotten older, my ideas of who I am and my talents have tended to be redefined.  I don't look the same.  I don't have the same opportunities.  I wrestle with aches, pains and challenges that are new and often discouraging.

Do I love myself?  Am I treating others with the same measuring rod I am applying to me and we are all coming up in the red?

When caregiving, it is difficult to think about yourself, let alone anyone outside your situation. So, liking oneself is hard, let alone loving oneself.  I spent many days avoiding the mirror and many days avoiding those around me.  Difficulty, aging, stress kept me in a prison.

I talked about friendship yesterday.  God helped me connect with people who gave me an opportunity to go beyond myself and begin to like myself.  Their input brought about a healing to love my life and the small pleasures of sitting in the sun outside my door, walking along the lake, eating too much sugar from a piece of cake baked by a friend who loved me as she loved herself.

I am finding a new appreciation for the WORDS God gave us in the Bible.  The topic of conversation with friends often turns to Heaven and what it will be like.  We long for that perfect place, but also discuss the road we are on and how God is helping us mature and share with others.  As we accept our lives, we can truly love others with the same hope.

Lot to say today!  But I am tired of being emotionally locked up and unable to recognize the gifts that God has placed within my reach!