Disguise....

 It is easy to try to disguise our feelings, reactions, the way it really is.  Often caregiving is overwhelming and we experience guilt, and then depression, because we shouldn't feel that way. Because we are tired, we can't see clearly and go through emotional stress as well as physical stress.

Take time.  When you are overwhelmed, find one thing, for five minutes, that gives you what you need.  You will only be your best when you are healthy and able to function at your optimum.  The person you love needs you to be at that place.  You need to be at that place. 

Is it possible?  Yes.  God has a plan and people who will help you.  Reach out and you will be surprised at the love and support you will find.  If there is no one in your world, comment on the blog and we will  help you locate what you need to thrive in your situation.

Serenity

 

Value

 We stayed at Hot Springs Village.  It was a beautiful rental on the golf course.  As I looked around, I saw things that were expensive, consuming and beautiful.  People have different criteria for what they see as important to their lives.  

It isn't material possessions that give me comfort and pleasure.  My "things" are not as important to my kids as they have been to me.  THEY are important, valuable.  What I see as riches is comprised of these individuals, my relatives and friends.  My sofa will never be remembered.  The bonds I build will never be forgotten.

What do I value? In the above picture, Kamri represents what and who I value most.  I have three daughters who have given me inspiration, and education.  I have grandchildren who are vital to my life and comprise a large portion of my wealth.  My faith, my family, my friends are what I value.

on the River Bank....

 

This is the only picture of me on a beach or bank I will publish!  The river is beautiful.  (I am partial to the Gulf).  BUT...there is nothing like the serenity of the riverbank.  The water was smooth and canoes floated leisurely by.

 

 

 

The weather was cool and comfortable.  There is nothing like relaxing beside the water,  You could hear people talking in their canoes as they made their way toward the bridge or further down the river.

 

Looking at the rocks, I definitely saw life and the challenges of caregiving.  It is usually the focus and we fail to look up and see the beautiful trees and birds.  Life hands us many situations that look rough, but with the right shoes, we can reach the water and have the respite of floating and healing.

 

 

 

 

Aunt and Uncles

 

  There are many memories of growing up that flooded my mind this past weekend.  Aunt Geneva, Uncle Joe and Jack were always part of the group to welcome us when we pulled in at Granny Treat's house.  We lived in Springfield, MO and would drive through Branson and Harrison to reach the Treat home just outside of Marshall.

I remember the highway through Nixa (I think that was the little town) was like a roller coaster.  Mom would speed up and we would have a few miles to enjoy a natural ride.  As we would cross the river at Branson, I would look up at the fine houses that had been built along the mountain side.

When we puledl in the driveway, if it was early, I would head up the hill to Aunt Winoka's and stay with my cousin Betty and Clara Nell.  If it was late, we would go in Granny's house, eat, then fall into the designated bed in one of the small bedrooms.  I remember the front one having two or three beds.  The porch was HUGE and I was always afraid I would fall off the end.  (Years later I went back and realized I could step off of it now.)

What has all of this to do with caregiving?  So much of my childhood I recall someone taking care of an elderly relative.  In a large family, it wasn't too difficult as there were many people to help.  Now, it seems that families have a much smaller base.  If you see a family struggling, reach out.  If you are struggling, reach out.  I believe we can help each other in this journey

The Buffalo River State Park 

Cousins

 

The Fourth of July was really fun.  I will post pictures over the next few days.  This is a picture of the cousins that were there.  I had not seen some of them for many years and visiting was so much fun.  Catching up with their lives and families meant a lot.  It especially made me miss my mom and dad and brothers.  When I was growing up, there was always a cousin to keep you company!

 

To be able to revisit the memories of growing up in a large family is very special.  The memories help to define who we are, why we are like we are and how important relationships are to our well being.  Each of these cousins played a part in who I am as an adult.  Love the connection.

 

The picture below was taken in the Buffalo River at South Maumee.  I was trying to show the fish swimming around my feet.  Look at the shoe - you will see at least one!

 

Have a happy day!

Arkansas-The Destination....Fireworks on the 4th of July

 

We leave in the morning for my dad's home.  Every two years my cousin hosts a family reunion.  There are three of the 11 children left from Clara and Troy Treat.  I am fortunate that my daughter and grandson (especially) love the history of our family.  We visit granny Treat's old house and my cousin's Bed and Breakfast in Searcy County called Grandma's House.  We rent it for the weekend and enjoy the backyard where you can have a bonfire, grill, and just enjoy the countryside.

 

The Buffalo River runs close to the B&B and it only takes a few minutes to go to the National Park where we hold the reunion. 

 

I was thinking about the history of my family, aunts and uncles and the caregivers who have been my cousins.  So much of the energy that my dad's family is known for, is found in their children and grandchildren.  When I go back, I remember, and when I look in the mirror, I am surprised to see an adult, older than several of the family who have died.

 

This July 4th, enjoy your family.  Our society is moving so fast that it leaves more and more behind.  One day, you will  be looking back.  Ask that loved one you are caring for about their life.  Get them to talk about their childhood and traditions they received from their parents.  Don't live so far in the future that you miss some wonderful memories.  It also gives that loved one the spark they need to know and value their history.

The Buffalo River......

Pure Joy...

I love this picture because Chasity and Kamri are really laughing.  Whatever was said, was funny, and you can see the joy in their faces.  This photo was taken several years ago, but when I look at it, I smile with them.

 

There isn't always much joy in caregiving situations.  Most of the time, it is tough and just finding the way is arduous.  Life has changed 100%. 

 

The question?  Where is the joy?  How do I incorporate it?  How do I find it for myself?

 

MEMORIES. 

 

Pull out the photo albums.  Ask questions about their childhood. Allow them to remember when they were in charge of something.  Focus on the areas that will bring pleasure to a life that is so different now.  You will learn quickly what to avoid and what brings happiness.

 

Do it for yourself, too.  Find something that brings that smile to your lips and warmth to your heart.  And, remember that God loves you (John 3:16) and He has a plan for you (Jeremiah 29:11).  Yes, even now, at this time and this place.

 

 

Then, dance in the sun!