IMPORTANT PEOPLE

The past few months God has been bringing people into my life from various seasons I was in.  There have been those I went to college with.  Several cousins I had not seen in years.  There are ladies I have attended church with years ago and new friends who have invited me into their circle.

It is so easy to remove oneself from society.  It is easy to find everything you need by phone or computer.  EXCEPT - friendship and support.  You can find it to a degree on face book, but the human touch is missing.  There is nothing like looking someone in the eye and having acceptance and love reflected in theirs.  It has been a long journey back to liking myself and becoming other centered instead of so self centered.  Grief will enclose you in a prison and Satan will maneuver your perceptions until you believe the lie.

I love the beach and these kids who were friends with Kamri several years ago.  You cannot beat your heritage - keep friends close and God closer!

Think again....

I stood for five minutes trying to stare him down.  He won.  He fought the Watusi cows...the Elk...anything that tried to take his food.  His stance was that of someone in charge!  Just look into his eyes.

There have been times I have had to take that attitude and STAND.  God tells us that when there is nothing else to do, STAND.  Hebrews 13 tells us He will NEVER leave us nor forsake us.  When life is difficult we must focus on Who we belong to and rest in that hope.

Like Hoover the goat (because he ate like a vacuum), we recognize our strength and look trouble head on.  God will supply our needs and make a way.

THE PLAN

The important thing is the plan.  Do you have one? 

Are you prepared in an emergency?  Do you know where your important papers are?  Do you know what they are?  Does your support group know where they are?  Do you have a support group?

If you do not, set down with your loved ones and develop a plan and a plan B.  Make sure you have something available in case something unexpected happens and your loved one is not left alone without knowing what is transpiring. 

A couple I know only have each other.  He had a stroke.  She is having memory issues and didn't know where he was.  They are extremely fortunate that his employer and the church they attend, plus a caring neighbor. were able to step up in the crisis. 

BUT, there must be clarity and things put in place so that the care receiver isn't left frightened. 

God has placed us in families.  Some are blood relatives, others are those who we have brought into our lives.  These people provide what we need in the PLAN that will take away stress and fear of emergency situations.

The ELK

There are times that God brings something beautiful into our lives to remind us that He has created all things for His pleasure.  This Elk was standing just outside the trailer gate when we drove into the compound.  He was watching his companions as they ate the corn that Paul had spread for them.  There were deer, Watusi cows, regular cows, and a funny goat who ate everything in sight.  He pushed the bigger animals around and kept them from eating at his table!

Ready to face the wind...

The Jeep is the transportation of choice when headed to the beach.  The sea breeze is not hindered as one heads west down the seawall.  There is just something special about riding with the wind in your hair and the sun on your face.  Peace floods my heart as I struggle to keep my hat in place!

I love the sense of freedom I experience every time I am beside the Gulf.  It is important to find that thing that releases those emotions and tensions that can build up when caregiving.  Mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health are the keys to thriving for you and your loved one.  Too often we don't realize that until it is too late. 

Caregivers.com is a website that will lead you to the helps you need.  What ever your questions might be or your challenges, there are answers!!

 

Time marches on...

Time has a way of passing quickly.  We don't realize how fast until we come across pictures from past events.  Then, we are shocked to see just how much our loved ones change.

Kamri and Timothy have changed over the past few years and are growing into teenagers.  Life has a way of going from infancy to childhood to adulthood before we realize it. When we do, we look back with guilt on some of the things we could have done in a different manner.  We also look back with pleasure at the things we did right. 

The past is good for assessing mistakes and finding new paths to correct them.  The present is to enjoy what God has given us and vow to make the most of it.  The future is a blank slate that we can seek His plan and make certain we are making the most of our opportunities.

Take a look at your loved one.  Vow to be the best you can for them.  Find the best way to health and happiness, regardless of the bumpy road you may be traveling!

 

 

Palm trees, Key Lime Pie and childhood...

 

 

 

 

Today was rainy and cool.  It made me remember March in Florida and the restaurant on Sanabel Island.  It was a pleasant trip down memory lane.

Sometimes it is nice to revisit fun times and places.  It gives us a rest from stressful situations and things we cannot change.  I like to look at old picture albums. Seeing my parents as they were gives me the reality of the past.   My grandchildren are the promise of the future.

Take a few minutes and sit down with your loved one.  Take time to relive some of the times they were successful and happy.  I love to hear the stories of their childhood and how they worked out the challenges life handed them. 

Out of It?

Sometimes do you feel "out of it"? 

 Is your world spinning around and no one actually recognizes that you don't have a firm grip on life happenings?

 

You can be in a group with several people and they don't acknowledge you are there?

No one looks to see if you are actually "in the picture".

 

Well, I found myself floating around trying to take care of everything.  My loved ones helped as they could and when I would allow them to.  It seemed like I was the only one who could do things correctly and was afraid to open myself up.  If I let go of the grip I had, I was scared I would lose it all and fail to be what I needed to be in the situation.

 

DON'T DO THAT!

Get involved with those who love you and become part of what is happening now.  God wants us to thrive and in thriving, our loved one we are caring for will thrive too!

 

Bathing can be torture at times!

 Everyone should visit the bathhouses in Hot Springs, AR.  They were known for the cures caused by the hot water.  It was awesome looking at the contraptions they developed for rehab! Here are a few of the rooms and tools used to heal. 

Kamri is standing in the shower.  Each of the jets shoot hot water onto the patient.  A bed, bathtub are also shown.  Below is the ornate center room of the men's section.  The women had no such accommodation.  In 1917 it was a man's world in these bathhouses.  Women were accepted, but with much less ornate surroundings. 

Perhaps your world is difficult right now.  I have realized that there are many difficult circumstances.  We may be surrounded by pretty cures, but pain is pain and when it hurts, we need a balm that heals and meets that need. 

Jesus told us to come to Him and He would meet our need for rest and healing.  Try Him.  Read the book of John this month.

 

  AN ornate Bathtub
 

  Massage table?

 

Got a Plan?

1.  Identify the problem
2.  Gather information
3.  Generate options
4.  Evaluate options
5.  Create a plan
6. Act
7.  Reassess

There are times when we have to begin at 7.  Stepping back and taking a look at what we have been doing will give us a chance to see the problem.  Then, we can begin gathering what we need for a plan that works. 

I remember feeling like I was surrounded by monsters with a "no outlet" sign flashing in neon.  I was hopeless in a hopeless situation.  BUT, God has a different view than I did and have.  He sees the way out.

I am praying today that you find that plan that will give you exactly what you need to thrive in your caregiving and bless that person you are caring for!

Sunrise from the balcony of the Flagship Hotel a few years back.

Jerry...

I found this picture taken several years ago in Urbana, IL.  My dad was in the hospital and Misty and I had flown to be there during his operation.  It was his second open heart surgery and he didn't make it through this one.  Can you guess which one is Jerry?

(He is the bearded one!) 

I had two brothers.  I irritated Jim (four years older) and tried to boss Jerry (two years younger).  This
month has been reflective.  I have been remembering my Treat family and the impact they have had on my life.  I have a lot of pride in both sides of my family.  I will put pictures of my Briggs side, too.
There were so many Treats, I have a lot of pictures to choose from!

Heritage is important.  A support system is important.  Find that group of people who will give you the feedback, love and encouragement you need as you walk through the situation you are in today. 

God has a plan (Jer. 29:11).  This isn't the only Scripture I know, but it gives me hope and guides me to the faith that makes my life meaningful.

If you get a chance, drive through Galveston and take a tour of the sculptures made from the trees that were destroyed during IKE.  This pelican is one of my favorites!

Beauty is...

 

What is beauty to you?

 

Is it family? The beach?

Is it a sunrise or sunset?

 

For me, it is watching my family grow up and become responsible adults.  It is being able to go to them and experience their knowledge of how to solve problems and become a part of the solution.

There has never been a time that I have not enjoyed my kids and their kids.  One of these days, God willing, I will watch the grand kids as they maneuver through life with their children and see how they bring good out of chaos.

Take time while you can to enjoy the simple, non-expensive beauty in your life!

Disguise....

 It is easy to try to disguise our feelings, reactions, the way it really is.  Often caregiving is overwhelming and we experience guilt, and then depression, because we shouldn't feel that way. Because we are tired, we can't see clearly and go through emotional stress as well as physical stress.

Take time.  When you are overwhelmed, find one thing, for five minutes, that gives you what you need.  You will only be your best when you are healthy and able to function at your optimum.  The person you love needs you to be at that place.  You need to be at that place. 

Is it possible?  Yes.  God has a plan and people who will help you.  Reach out and you will be surprised at the love and support you will find.  If there is no one in your world, comment on the blog and we will  help you locate what you need to thrive in your situation.

Serenity

 

Value

 We stayed at Hot Springs Village.  It was a beautiful rental on the golf course.  As I looked around, I saw things that were expensive, consuming and beautiful.  People have different criteria for what they see as important to their lives.  

It isn't material possessions that give me comfort and pleasure.  My "things" are not as important to my kids as they have been to me.  THEY are important, valuable.  What I see as riches is comprised of these individuals, my relatives and friends.  My sofa will never be remembered.  The bonds I build will never be forgotten.

What do I value? In the above picture, Kamri represents what and who I value most.  I have three daughters who have given me inspiration, and education.  I have grandchildren who are vital to my life and comprise a large portion of my wealth.  My faith, my family, my friends are what I value.

on the River Bank....

 

This is the only picture of me on a beach or bank I will publish!  The river is beautiful.  (I am partial to the Gulf).  BUT...there is nothing like the serenity of the riverbank.  The water was smooth and canoes floated leisurely by.

 

 

 

The weather was cool and comfortable.  There is nothing like relaxing beside the water,  You could hear people talking in their canoes as they made their way toward the bridge or further down the river.

 

Looking at the rocks, I definitely saw life and the challenges of caregiving.  It is usually the focus and we fail to look up and see the beautiful trees and birds.  Life hands us many situations that look rough, but with the right shoes, we can reach the water and have the respite of floating and healing.

 

 

 

 

Aunt and Uncles

 

  There are many memories of growing up that flooded my mind this past weekend.  Aunt Geneva, Uncle Joe and Jack were always part of the group to welcome us when we pulled in at Granny Treat's house.  We lived in Springfield, MO and would drive through Branson and Harrison to reach the Treat home just outside of Marshall.

I remember the highway through Nixa (I think that was the little town) was like a roller coaster.  Mom would speed up and we would have a few miles to enjoy a natural ride.  As we would cross the river at Branson, I would look up at the fine houses that had been built along the mountain side.

When we puledl in the driveway, if it was early, I would head up the hill to Aunt Winoka's and stay with my cousin Betty and Clara Nell.  If it was late, we would go in Granny's house, eat, then fall into the designated bed in one of the small bedrooms.  I remember the front one having two or three beds.  The porch was HUGE and I was always afraid I would fall off the end.  (Years later I went back and realized I could step off of it now.)

What has all of this to do with caregiving?  So much of my childhood I recall someone taking care of an elderly relative.  In a large family, it wasn't too difficult as there were many people to help.  Now, it seems that families have a much smaller base.  If you see a family struggling, reach out.  If you are struggling, reach out.  I believe we can help each other in this journey

The Buffalo River State Park 

Cousins

 

The Fourth of July was really fun.  I will post pictures over the next few days.  This is a picture of the cousins that were there.  I had not seen some of them for many years and visiting was so much fun.  Catching up with their lives and families meant a lot.  It especially made me miss my mom and dad and brothers.  When I was growing up, there was always a cousin to keep you company!

 

To be able to revisit the memories of growing up in a large family is very special.  The memories help to define who we are, why we are like we are and how important relationships are to our well being.  Each of these cousins played a part in who I am as an adult.  Love the connection.

 

The picture below was taken in the Buffalo River at South Maumee.  I was trying to show the fish swimming around my feet.  Look at the shoe - you will see at least one!

 

Have a happy day!

Arkansas-The Destination....Fireworks on the 4th of July

 

We leave in the morning for my dad's home.  Every two years my cousin hosts a family reunion.  There are three of the 11 children left from Clara and Troy Treat.  I am fortunate that my daughter and grandson (especially) love the history of our family.  We visit granny Treat's old house and my cousin's Bed and Breakfast in Searcy County called Grandma's House.  We rent it for the weekend and enjoy the backyard where you can have a bonfire, grill, and just enjoy the countryside.

 

The Buffalo River runs close to the B&B and it only takes a few minutes to go to the National Park where we hold the reunion. 

 

I was thinking about the history of my family, aunts and uncles and the caregivers who have been my cousins.  So much of the energy that my dad's family is known for, is found in their children and grandchildren.  When I go back, I remember, and when I look in the mirror, I am surprised to see an adult, older than several of the family who have died.

 

This July 4th, enjoy your family.  Our society is moving so fast that it leaves more and more behind.  One day, you will  be looking back.  Ask that loved one you are caring for about their life.  Get them to talk about their childhood and traditions they received from their parents.  Don't live so far in the future that you miss some wonderful memories.  It also gives that loved one the spark they need to know and value their history.

The Buffalo River......

Pure Joy...

I love this picture because Chasity and Kamri are really laughing.  Whatever was said, was funny, and you can see the joy in their faces.  This photo was taken several years ago, but when I look at it, I smile with them.

 

There isn't always much joy in caregiving situations.  Most of the time, it is tough and just finding the way is arduous.  Life has changed 100%. 

 

The question?  Where is the joy?  How do I incorporate it?  How do I find it for myself?

 

MEMORIES. 

 

Pull out the photo albums.  Ask questions about their childhood. Allow them to remember when they were in charge of something.  Focus on the areas that will bring pleasure to a life that is so different now.  You will learn quickly what to avoid and what brings happiness.

 

Do it for yourself, too.  Find something that brings that smile to your lips and warmth to your heart.  And, remember that God loves you (John 3:16) and He has a plan for you (Jeremiah 29:11).  Yes, even now, at this time and this place.

 

 

Then, dance in the sun!